


When You Sleep (Ereri)

by SageOfStorms



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Anal Sex, Eventual Fluff, Eventual Relationships, Eventual Romance, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, Levi is 27, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor Furlan Church/Isabel Magnolia, Modern AU, age shifts for all characters, eren is 23, eventual angst, no underage anything
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2017-07-12
Packaged: 2018-08-19 00:10:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 26,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8181070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SageOfStorms/pseuds/SageOfStorms
Summary: Eren is a workaholic who has drowned himself in misery after his mother's death and Levi is an antisocial man who does much the same. Worried friends hatch a plan for these 2 men that have never met, and when their plan unravels, will it end with a bittersweet beauty or more of an angry tragedy?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey! This is my first fanfiction on here, and I hope that I keep my aim of finishing it in a handful of chapters.  
> The beginning might be a bit of a drag because I'm really bad at writing things that don't go super fast, but I swear it'll get better and I hope you guys join me with the journey!!

_When you sleep, be with me, when you sleep…_  
        Eren woke with sunlight just meeting the bottom of his windowsill. His alarm hadn’t gone off, the clock reading  5:45am.  
        His chest was heavy with a sort of sorrow he couldn’t quite place. It wasn’t a nightmare, no, he always remembered those vividly and he usually awoke with terror, not sadness flooding his consciousness with fervor he was unfamiliar with.  
       Nothing came to mind when he desperately tried to remember what had disturbed him in such a way. Eren was a strong man, kept his heart locked with a golden key, but whatever that dream had been picked the lock and let the heart he had put in a cage free for too long.  
       _Maybe I should take the day off. Try to get my feelings in order._  
       The man shook his head, knowing the idea was just a thought infiltrating his mind before his senses could stop it. He knew today was going to be important, he didn’t have a very good gut when it came to feelings like these, but when he felt them so deeply, couldn’t he be sure the universe was trying to tell him something? Anything? Feelings like this could not be made by the mind he convinced himself was so dull and dumb.  
        He rolled out of bed, preferring not to make his bed, but it was part of his new self-made program for better mental health. The internet said something along the lines of “It will improve your mood to start your day off with doing something you don’t usually do.” Being Eren was a 22 year old still in college and balancing maybe 100 hours of work a week and college assignments, he knew he didn’t have time to keep his life together, more or less make his bed every morning.  
       Somehow, though, he still did both. Saturdays were his days sworn to sleeping, which were usually only filled with just that, sleeping. He ate shit and drank too much coffee, but he was still alive, even though he was ensured an early grave.  
       His bed was made, his alarm shut off before even getting the chance to ring. He left his bedroom and walked to his kitchen, preparing his coffee pot and making a call to his dearest friend, Armin.  
       The blond picked up after the first few rings.  
       “Hello?” He asked in a groggy voice. Apparently, Eren had woken him up.  
       “Armin, you said you’d drive me to work this morning. If you’re not here in half an hour, I’m walking.” Eren said, amused by the fact he caught a rare moment. Armin usually woke up before Eren and was the one yelling at him.  
       “I told you we’re taking the day off today. I thought you had a bunch of homework.” Armin sounded more alert and somewhat surprised.  
       “I _had_ a bunch of homework, but after working until 3:30 this morning, I have none left. You didn’t call off already, did you?” Eren poured himself a cup of coffee and drowned out the disgusting flavor of the brown liquid with a french vanilla cream.  
      “No, I didn’t. Not yet. But I will,” Armin said, yawning directly into the mouth piece to further his point. “Eren, we’ve been working here for like 5 years now and you only take off one day, pull 3 all-nighters, and drink like 70 cups of coffee a week. You’ve never taken a vacation voluntarily, and even when Erwin tells you to take one, you take work home. You make hundreds of thousands of dollars a year so you can live nicely, so your father can live in that big house by himself, nursing a lethal drinking problem, so Mikasa can travel the world in first class with ease, so your mother’s grave is taken care of with top priority, so you can go to a high end school that costs way too much, and so when you get married, whoever you marry can live comfortably without working a day in his or her life even long after you’ve worked yourself into the grave right next to your mom’s.” Armin had definitely woken up more just by going off on his friend. “I think you can spare a day.”  
       “No, today is important, I can feel it.” Eren said into the phone. “Plus, I already made coffee, my clothes are already set out, my lunch is ready, and I have nothing else to do but go to work. I’ll talk to you later. Go back to sleep, sorry for waking you.” He spoke softly, hoping to ease Armin back to sleep before hanging up.  
      He finished his cup of coffee and went back into his room, longing for the newly made bed, but knowing he didn’t want to ruin his perfect record of never missing a day now. He put on black dress pants and a dark blue button up shirt. His messy hair was calmed down by a comb and he wiped the sleep out of his eyes.  
      Eren wasn’t much of a breakfast person, but the 15 extra minutes he had gave him the chance to pull something together. He nearly never went shopping, he mostly got groceries whenever Armin came to make sure he was fed properly on their day off. The fridge was barren and the cupboards matched. He shrugged it off as normal. His body was weak except for his hands, he hardly ever ate anymore.  
       In high school, his mother used to ensure he took good care of himself. He was always given a proper time to sleep, his homework was done, he was fed three times a day, plus had time to be social, having played volleyball and swam in high school, plus being in the art club and lent a hand to theatre when he could.  
      Now he slept about 3 hours a night on average, worked his ass off to the point of sickness, and tried his best to go out when he was free. The thing about that, is that he imprisoned himself to work, a life sentence to paperwork, no crime or a single sin to atone for, but still punished nonetheless. He thought he had a good reason to do it to himself, but it’s better not to talk about that.  
     He tried his best to cover himself tight, but in an unnecessary hurry, he didn’t do well enough.  
       Armin texted Eren to inform him that he was outside. Eren pulled his work bag from the chair at his kitchen table and walked to the door, looking at his small house, all the furniture covered in dust, unused, more for decoration than use. His eyes scanned before opening the door to exit his home and set on his way to the office.  
      His friend looked exhausted and the guilt of having woke him up filled Eren.  
      “Hey, buddy,” Armin looked to his side, despite the sleepy face he still smiled for his dear friend. “How are you this morning?”  
       “I’m doing pretty good, I’m tired but I know the coffee will kick in soon,” He yawned despite wanting to appear awake. “I think I need to learn how to do makeup because I’m tired of looking like shit because of these purple bags under my eyes.”  
       “Maybe we really should take the day off, come on Eren.” The young man looked at him pleadingly.  
      “You can just drop me off at work and go home, but I have things to do.” Eren truly wasn’t in the mood to argue about this, but every day the blond got more irritated and now these small battles got more frequent.  
     Armin peeled out of the long driveway and drove to the next city over. The building was called “Linked Horizons Corporation” and was probably the highest building in all of Saint Maria. The buildings weren’t all that tall, of course. This was a city that was full of working class people and most were actually pretty wealthy or in complete poverty, the few in between were either extremely happy or miserable, all about which side they came from.  
       Another thing Eren did with his money – He donated what he could to make sure no one in the city was hungry. At the end of everything else he did, there wasn’t a lot he could give, but he gave what he could and that meant more to him than anything else.

 _***_  
        Upon arriving at work, Eren hurried in to the building, early as per usual to go help with what he could. If it’s making coffee, getting paperwork sorted, putting mail in the mailbox of his fellow workers, or anything Erwin asked of him.  
       Armin, however, sat in his old truck for a few minutes, deciding if he should go in, go home, or curl up and lay in his truck and let the cold embrace him as he fell asleep. After consider for a few minutes, the last option being the most appealing to him, he decided to get out of the truck and go straight up to his boyfriend’s office and sleeping on his couch. A couch in the office? Well, the CEO of a large company can do whatever he wants.  
       Upon getting to the elevator, more people started shuffling in from the cold, scarves and warm hats covering up their faces, but not even the thick piles of cloth in front of their faces could stop the sound of their yawning. Work shouldn’t start at 7, it was too early.  
      The elevator made many stops on the way up, and Armin, the poor soul, leaned against the bar in the corner of the elevator to close his eyes. He had fallen asleep by time he reached his floor, and luckily for him, another blond man happened to see the sleeping Armin in the elevator as the doors closed, he quickly went over to push the button before the elevator was called down again and woke the boy from his sleep.  
       “Armin,” The voice, usually rough and demanding was sweet and quiet in attempt not to frighten him awake. Armin opened his eyes just a bit, but they soon widened when seeing Erwin’s amused face.  
      “Your eyebrows are stupid.” Was the only thing he could say and he was rewarded with a hearty chuckle.  
      “Your hair is long and you’re feminine,” Erwin reminded him, “You’re a very cute girlfriend for an old man like me.” Hands gently pulled Armin out of the elevator and lead him down an extensive hallway to his office. “Why did you come to work today? I thought you planned to take the day off with Eren.” Erwin said to him.  
       “Eren wanted to come to work and who am I to stop him from what he wants?” Was all the sleepy guy could say, more words formulated sentences in his brain, but he didn’t trust his half-conscious  words enough to actually speak them.  
        “Of course he did, he’s yet to take a day off since the day he came here. I never expected a kid fresh out of high school and about to go to college to have such determination in his work, it scares me. I was expecting him to work very little but just enough to stay here, but now he’s the second biggest reason that our company is doing so well.” Erwin guided Armin to the couch and pulled over a swivel chair. “Second in line to _him._ ”  
      “I thought you were the biggest reason the company was doing so well.” Armin mused, deeply trying to converse until the exhaustion in his very soul dragged him into the sea call deep sleep, his face against the upholstery of the couch.  
      “I think I’ve taken more naps at my desk than I have signed papers.” The large man confessed.  
       “Old man…” Armin’s weak voice was followed by the deep breathing as his body settled into rest. Erwin ran his fingers through the man’s hair and then waltzed over to his desk.

***  
         Everyone knew Eren was an exceptional artist, many of his paintings earned their ways into galleries that only lasted a few days. A few of the people Eren worked with had actually bought pieces from him for high fees that they themselves had set, knowing any work that had come from Eren’s hands would be worth the expensive commission.  
       Jean Kirschstein was another artist in Eren’s workplace, his office was actually right next door. For the past few days, Jean was taking personal time so that he could go to France and capture scenery. His kind of art was different form Eren’s, being that the only media he needed was his very expensive camera, fancy ink, and a really fine printer, all of which he had bought over the course of the past few years.  
      Today, Jean would be returning from France, and frankly, Eren was excited to overhear him gushing about what a great time he had to whoever would give him the chance to speak.  
      Eren had spent his entire life in the same area of the same general cities and he liked to get insight about what the world was like, since he really doubted that he’d ever get to experience a world that wasn’t called “Saint Maria”.  
      Eren sat at his desk for about 30 minutes, dissolving into his work right away, but soon lost interest due to the fact Jean had arrived at work and he had to be ready to get whatever juicy details he could without actually asking for them.  
       He didn’t have to eavesdrop for the details, though. As soon as he knew Jean was at work was almost the exact same moment Jean sat down in the chair in front of his desk and started telling Eren everything.  
       “The cities were beautiful and the food was great and I really think you would have liked it even more than I did,” Jean began. “Scenes like that are a painter’s wet dream, Jaeger. I thought of you a lot while I was there, since you always said how much you wanted to see the world and everything was already like paintbrush strokes. If you had gone, I swear you’d need a lot more than one sketchpad.”  
      “It sounds amazing, Jean.” Eren said with a smile, but truthfully, it hurt knowing there was a place where Eren would have happily been, even Eren’s personal piece of hell personified would have known how perfect it would have been if only Eren could have gone.  
       “It would have been great if the entire country in its entirety hadn’t already been captured a million times over on cameras just like mine. As disappointing as it may be that nothing of mine is really an original idea, it was still a wonderful trip and I would strongly recommend it to you.”  
       “I appreciate that you were thinking of me while in a place so wonderful, but I hope thinking of your enemy didn’t ruin anything,” Eren teased.  
       “Enemy? You’re not my enemy, smartass. We compete respectfully. I don’t think it’s be a very good idea to make you my enemy knowing that if I got fired and you had to do my work for me you wouldn’t have even noticed the extra work.” Jean teased right back.  
       “Of course I would have noticed, even your paperwork is annoying like you.” The brunet almost audibly laughed, having fun with his conversation.  
      “I really do mean it, though, Eren,” Jean’s face suddenly got somewhat thoughtful. “The lights of the city at night are enough to be a wonder, but the food, the music, the scenery, the atmosphere, all of it was so much better than I could have imagined.”  
       Eren now felt like Jean was rubbing it in. He knew he wasn’t in all honesty, as much as they joke around by saying rude things to each other, Jean knew how much travel meant to Eren and Paris was somewhere Eren truthfully wanted to go so bad that he would die if it meant having the chance to go. Jean wasn’t mean, and Eren was his friend, he only meant the best.  
      “Eren, it was all so wondrous, I wish you could have seen it.” Jean sighed, letting Eren know the conversation was almost done for now, but Eren also knew Jean would give a bit more detail later when the hype settled.  
       “Definitely…” Eren said, a bit of sadness tinged in his voice, but he looked up at Jean to make sure he hadn’t noticed, and even if Jean had noticed, he had decided to ignore it.  
      “I wish you would have been there with me. I wish I could have seen your face when you first say Paris in the daylight.” Jean was finished now, and was making his way out of the room. Eren made a finishing remark as Jean left the room.  
        “Me, too.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren is always working, but today, he is given a reason to get off at a reasonable time, and has a place to be. Not a lot hapens, but there is plenty to come!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi again! The beginnings are always slow, and this one kinda sucks but just get pumped because next week fun stuff is going to happen, so don't give up on me just yet!

 

          Work had never been very fun, but Eren still gave it his all. He was a good worker, all of his superiors liked him a lot and he’s truthfully the reason his entire department went up in the ranks. Even if they didn’t lift a finger, they would still get a generous salary from the company because Eren worked so hard that all the work that really needed to be done got completed quickly, quietly, and was always perfect.  
        The day dragged on and Eren was fighting sleep, it was one of those few days in his life where he was too tired to even get up for coffee. His eyelids were heavy and when he saw the time on the clock in the corner of his laptop screen, he hardly reacted. _Oh, I missed my lunch break._  
       A message popped up on his screen. It was from the woman on the other side of his floor, Annie, inquiring on if he would like to go out to lunch.  
      
     _I know you haven’t eaten yet, do you want to grab some coffee and maybe some food? My treat – A_

_I would love to, but we have different lunch breaks and mine is already over. Sorry. – E_

_I already emailed Erwin. He said it’s ok to move your lunch to now. Let’s go. – A_

Eren looked at the words on the screen and then peered at his pile of papers on his desk.            With a sigh, he stood to stretch the tiredness out of his resting body. His jacket, scarf, and hat all sat on a single took in the front of his small office. He shuffled over to the hanging outerwear, pins and needles in his sleeping legs.  
       Annie stood at his door, her heels alerting the entire floor of where she was headed , who she was going to go see. Eren had hardly even gotten his jacket on by time that she was pulling him out of the door, trying to make up for lost time, being that second lunch break had started minutes before she dragged herself away from work, and she still had to take the time to email Erwin and yell at Eren.

***

       Eren felt like his stomach was going to tear form hunger, he spent nearly no money on himself so he could save a bunch up, meaning he never ate anything healthy and abused his body into working. When others offered to pay for him to go out, he usually declined for the sake of “catching up” on his work, but at times like these, where a scary German lady was literally dragging him to lunch, he humbly accepted.  
       The place was pretty fancy and Eren definitely liked the smell when walking into the restaurant. Annie had been here only a handful of times, being that her honorary older brother Reiner  liked it a lot, which may or may not be because of the tall waiter who always had “eye sex” with him, which is like undressing someone with your eyes, but you both are doing it and your imagination goes a little farther than usual.  
       The waiter in question was working that day, his long sleeved dark blue work shirt ironed to perfection and his eyes stared down Annie, having had recognized the girl.  
      “Hi, Bert, table for two.” She said a voice that was both distant and familiar. The tall man lead them to a nice table next to a window looking out to a park. The duo sat and looked at their menus as Bert swept himself away to another tabel.  
      The duo sat and looked at their menus as Bert swept himself away to another tabe.  
       “So, Eren, do you mind a question of two?” Annie asked, eyes still scanning the list of food.  
       “Ah…go for it.” He said, having decided on what he wanted, and was now looking at the blonde.  
       “Why do you work like you’re running out of time? Are you dying? Do you have someone you need to leave money for?” annie asked so quickly Eren sat there for a second too long trying to decide how to answer.  
       “Oh, well,” He began kind of nervously. “I guess you could say that. I am 23, unmarried, never dated anyone, and I’m saving a lot of money.” Fingers sliding over each other, clasped hands. “There’s reason I’d rather not talk about, but I know one day I’ll marry someone and I just don’t want my family being the way it was when I was growing up.”  
       “Everyone knows what you do, we know you care for your father and sister and save money so you can be happy later, and you donate what remains, hardly taking care of yourself. What is going to happen to you that you need to do these things?” She asked, her blue eyes usually like a morning sky now like ice, freezing Eren where he sat, it was intimidating.  
       “I don’t plan on anything happening to me, but things happen and I just have to be prepared.” His voice was getting agitated. Everything about this conversation felt like another nail in his coffin, he didn’t wnt to face it and these questions were bringing his closer to recognizing what he was doing.  
       “What about painting? You love painting! And you like to cook even though you’re no good at it, you hate cleaning but you love the feeling of clean places. You have unspeakable amounts of pride in your work, but you’ll die like this. Do you want that? To die, Eren, are you trying to die?” Annie’s eyes were calculating before, but now they were wide, the things she had thought and wondered so long, the things so many like he thought and wondered, came spilling out before she could stop herselg.  
       “Wha-?!...of course not,” Everything that was building in his chest had released and now all he could feel was the fear and sorrow radiating off the girl in front of him. “No, Annie, I’m not trying to die, I just don’t want there to be a possibility I do and then leave everyone I love behind without giving them anything to remember me for. Isn’t that what all humans want? To make a mark somewhere?”

***

        Eren returned to work and was feeling even more drained that before. He had energy again and he wasn’t fighting his own stomach to stay quiet. Emotionally, he was drained. Today was strange, his life was usually quiet, but somehow it was different, feelings were rushing him, Armin snapping, Jean telling him about France, and Annie freaking out on him.  
       What was happening?  
       “Hey, Eren, are you almost done with work?” A voice came from the doorway and when Eren looked up, there stood Armin, no longer looking half dead, but definitely somewhat tired, which may be because of lack of sleep, or maybe it was the bruise on Armin’s collar bone and the single broken button on Armin’s shirt. Only one person could have such a low regard for such a nice shirt and pale skin.  
       “It’s really nice to know that while I’m working you and Erwin are playing rollercoaster, Armin.” Eren smirked, trying his hardest not to laugh at his own joke. Armin’s face erupted into a rosy blush and he was apparently looking for a good comeback in that great mind of his, but it was too late for him to think properly, he was already flustered.  
       “Work…are you almost done?” Armin got back on topic, finally deciding to ignore the comment. Doesn’t do him much good being that Eren knows exactly what he just did.  
       “Yeah, I’m actually on my last paper now.” He spoke with a surprised tone. “Which is strange because I usually work well into the night, but today I might get off on time. Maybe this time, I can actually sleep.”  
       “As nice as that sounds, that is definitely not happening. For once you can actually go out with us. You dragged me here this morning, so I get to drag you out tonight. We’re go to Springle’s, Sasha and Connie’s bar, tonight to celebrate some things, like Jean coming back, you actually joining the living for once, and something else Erwin hasn’t told me about, but that’s not to worry, I think he just wants to get enough details before telling anyone.” Armin sighed and finally came all the way into the office and took a seat on one of Eren’s guest chairs quite…gently.  
       “Alright, alright, I’ll go out with you guys tonight, but that means tomorrow, Saturday, my one and only day off all week, you don’t call me, you don’t visit, and I sleep all day.” He looked Armin in the, serious.  
       “It doesn’t have to be your only day off, Erwin is still offering you off Fridays, too. But you’d never accept that offer.” The blond man fidgeted in his seat, just silently praying that Eren doesn’t say something stupid and set him off.  
       “I might accept soon. I guess it finally became clear to me that I need to pull it together.” Eren pushed his chair away from his desk, having _finally_ finished his work for the week. “Annie took me out to lunch, and she lost her temper with me spouting something about _“Do you want to kill yourself like this?”_ or something like that.” Eren yawned and looked at Armin.  
       “So who’s all going?”  
***

      Eren looked at his drinking companions. They were all familiar, being coworkers, he having worked in all their departments at one point in his short career. There was Armin, who was his best friend who started with him, who was 2nd to the top, Jean who worked right next to him, Annie who worked down the hall but she was actually just a secretary, someone that helped point people in their desired directions, sorted papers, kept people on task, and logged information the Eren wasn’t so sure about. There was Reiner, who was on the ground, a supervisor who frequently moved to different buildings in the Kyojin duo, which was co-owned by Erwin Smith, who was also present, in charge of the “Link Horizon Corporation”, and a person named Mike Zacharius whom Eren had never met nor seen a photo of, who owned “The Sweet Gloria Company”. Hanji Zoe, Erwin’s Right Hand Man was present and Marco Bodt, who was on the floor under Eren’s, he was more of the guy who trained people and got stock on whatever current project they were running, the information he recorded usually sent to Jean and Eren to be put together, the numbers going to Eren and the general project information being organized by Jean…and revised by Eren.  
       The restaurant they were at was owned by Connie Springer and his wife, Sasha. They weren’t any older than Eren, but they were married 3 years before and already have a kid on land while another was just a bun in the oven. Being that the bun was a baby and the oven was Sasha’s womb, as Eren likes to inform people without necessity. People being every single person who knows both Sasha and Eren, and those same people really _really_ wish he wouldn’t.  
       Being only a few years over 21 and a workaholic, Eren didn’t drink much, he hardly ate, so when he drank, he gets heavy stuff mostly and gets wasted before 11pm. He liked tasty stuff, and tasty stuff usually was a margarita or flavoured vodka.  
       Armin usually called a taxi service to come at 11:30.  
        Tonight, Eren decided to order both food and a drink. Something was changing, he was eating, he had time to go out, and for once he didn’t look like he was a walking corpse. Sure, he had bags under his skin, but now he didn’t look pale. Eating twice a day can do that to a person.  
         Annie refused to make eye contact. She regarded her outburst earlier as a huge mistake and she was embarrassed. Her persona was so well together and calm to the point of maybe a little crazy, but her eyes rarely widened like that, she hardly ever raised her voice. Concern like that was surprising, and she was definitely overthinking it, but she knew Eren would just hate her for it.  
           “Hey Annie,” Eren called for her attention from across the table and a few chairs down. “Are you ok? You look worried.”  
           “I yelled at you earlier,” She looked up, her voice flat and she somewhat wished it would express her discomfort, but flat voices don’t often do that. “I just don’t want to bothersome.”  
        “Bothersome? You? Of course not! I understand what you’re trying to say.” Eren tried to sound as if it was no big deal, but then decided to face it head-on. “It’s ok, you’re worried because of how hard I work, but I swear I’m ok and I promise I’ll try to go out more, I think it’ll be good for me.” He smiled for her and she went to say more but his attention was pulled elsewhere.  
        “Eren...” She sighed.  
***  
       The group laughed and got a bit more rambunctious as the night went on and each got more intoxicated. Eren and Jean were talking about fighting, but Armin and Marco quickly pulled them apart. Eren considered himself the winner immediately being that Jean was half conscious and quickly being dragged all the way out of the bar by his companion. Eren’s companion on the otherhand…  
       “Eren, I know you don’t go out much but you’re really fucked.” Armin said to him with an ai of annoyance in his voice.  
       “I’m not even drunk,” Eren said so clearly that Armin was surprised.  
       “Then why were you threatening to rip Jean’s face off?” Armin’s eyes widened, worry now piercing his thoughts, worry for his friend’s sanity.  
       “He said we’re a good lesbian couple, I told him he’s the prettiest lesbian I’ve ever see, he got mad because he has a boyfriend, and then he said some things and I told him it’s go time. Simple.”  
       “Simple? That hardly explains anything.”  
       “Whatever, man.”  
***  
       Eren was watching the clock on his phone, not wanting to leave too early, but he still had to get home to do schoolwork.  
       “Eren, buddy, you haven’t gone out with us before, yeah?” Erwin was deeply blushing, his arms and head on the table. Drunk out of his mind, maybe?  
       “No, I haven’t, sir.” Eren was slightly intoxicated and had never talked to Erwin outside of work, so it was easy to mix up his work-talk with normal talk.  
       “Sir? Man, no. I’m just Erwin and you’re just Eren. Yeah, but like, you gotta meet Levi! He’s so tiny you just want to crush all his bones.” Erwin wasn’t himself, not at all.  
       “I gotta go soon, so maybe I’ll give him a quick chat before I leave.” Eren looked at the remainder of their party and didn’t see ay unfamiliar faces. “He’s not here yet?”  
      “No, he had a lot of work to do, so he isn’t going to be here for a little while. But you’ll really like him. He’s a few years younger than me, not quite your age, though. Uhh, tiny, short black hair, he looks tired all the time but that’s because he is, and if he doesn’t look tired, he looks sad, angry, and disappointed all at the same time.” Erwin finally pulled himself together a bit, talk somewhat sobering.  
       “I would like to meet him, but I’m afraid I have to go.” Eren looked down at his phone and saw the time, knowing now was the time to go.  
       “But you guys could talk about work and maybe become friends. Eren, he’s really lonely. Really lonely.” The large blonde man looked Eren directly in the eye. “I mean, you guys are going to be working together soon, isn’t it a good idea you meet him?”  
       “Work together? What…? Well, I’ll just find a way to meet him when you give us the work assignment, but right now I really have to go. I’m sorry, thank you so much for inviting me.”  
       The young man left money on the table to pay for his food and drinks, and then he left the restaurant. He was quick, he saw the time, 11:28, knowing the taxi would arrive soon, and if this boy knew anything, he knew taxi drivers didn’t like to wait.  
       On his way out, he took a quick glance at the people passing himself, it was a habit of his, around strangers he was always very anxious and looked into people’s faces for a fraction of a second to see if he should be worried around them or not.  
      One specific stranger had dark hair, hard to tell the exact color by the light of the streetlamps. Eren couldn’t catch the face, the man passed him too quickly for him to know who it was, but still there was something there that he couldn’t ignore.  
       His heartstrings felt like they had all been attached to a block of iron. The sadness was overwhelming, what could possibly cause him to be so sorrowful?  
        He felt like he has just woken up from a dream, but that couldn’t be it because whenever he had a dream it wasn’t sad, it was always horrifying, and he always _always_ remembered his dreams.  
       Except for the one he woke up from this morning, but what does such dark hair have to do with Eren’s dreams?  
       His sleeve rose to his eyes as he stepped into his taxi, wiping away the forming tears. With a shaking voice, Eren spoke.  
       “Saint Maria Square, please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos encourage me to write more, so if you don't want to see this fic die, then i ask you yell at me!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sadness violates Eren's dreams once more, but he wakes up yet again and can't remember what makes him so sad. Today is Eren's day off, but he still wakes up early and falls into routine before a call from Erwin asking him to come in. He gets to wrok, and it's slow like he'd never experienced before, he has a conversation with Jean that opens his eyes and gets a handful of details about the new project he'll be taking up with someone he's never met before, but thatll change soon, as he meets Levi that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Surprise! Another chapter this week!  
> Usually, I'll only post one chapter a week, but I'm on break this week, so I'm writing two chapters! That means I'll be staying up on Friday to complete chapter 4 by saturday! Oh, I've screwed myself over!  
> Either way, thank you for reading, welcome to all new readers, and please enjoy Chapter 3 of "When you Sleep".

_The name is on the tip of my tongue, I can’t see him, but I swear I know he’s there, I see everything but my mind isn’t focusing on any feature of the man in front of me, but I know he’s crying. Why is he crying? I’m here for him. He’s spreading the wings to carry him away, and I run after him, but those black wingslike a raven’s will never come any closer. I offer him my hand, but I can’t reach._  
“L-!”  
       With a start, green eyes open to a white ceiling that seems to spread out into eternity. Eren puts his hand on his faceand felt warm tears streaming down his face. He couldn’t remember what happened, but the sorrow was still present, his chest was both hallow and full at the same time.  
      Eren looked at his clock. This time it was 6:02am. He was running around the room, pulling things together, he was 2 minutes late, yeah, but every minute is important. He got out an outfit and left it on his unmade bed and went to the kitchen to start coffee.  
       Armin hadn’t called, Armin always calls. Eren pulled out his phone and his eyes were caught on the date, it was Saturday. His day off, his only day off all week. He sat in one of his neglected kitchen chairs. What would he do now? He was awake as he could be, coffee was already brewing and clothing already put out. Most people would turn off the coffeemaker, throw the clothes off the bed and go back into winter hibernation, but Eren hardly knew what it was like to wake up on Saturdays, more or less go back to sleep on one, and it would be crazy if he actually spend a day not working. He hasn’t been without work since _that day._  
       The saddest day of Eren’s life, his reason for drowning himself, his monster to hide from. The sweetest woman he had met in his life his own personal demon looking over his shoulder. _His mother._  
       He decided to take a shower, the water washing away the sadness and the pain best it could. When he got out, he dried his hair and wrapped a towel around his waist. His phone rang loudly as he approached the bathroom counter, the ID showing that it was his boss, Erwin, calling.  
       “Hello?”  
       “Eren, I’m sorry to call you on your day off, but there is something I need to talk to you about this afternoon, you could take tomorrow off and work today, I promise I can give you tomorrow, but we really need to talk.”  
      “Of course, I’ll be there in half an hour.” He said his farewells and then ended the call, with a sigh, Eren started walking into his bedroom to get dressed.  
      Once dressed, Eren once again made his bed and looked at it sadly. Why couldn’t he remember the dream? He wanted so badly to know what happened to make his feel so broken. He knew he shouldn’t want this dream to happen anymore, but he really felt it in his heart, and he really wanted this dream to stay, it was better not to know why he was so sad than to dream of the thing he wish he could forget.  
       The coffeemaker had long since gone off, he poured the entire pot into a thermos began to put on his extra layers of winter clothing before grabbing his thermos and work bag, facing the cold.

***

      Erwin closed his phone after Eren hung up and looked at Armin.  
     “I don’t know if this will work.”  
      “Of course it will, Eren is too buried in work, he’ll believe it no matter what.”  
       “Oh? And what about the other?”  
       “He’s no better, and he’s usually the one who goes over there anyway. He’ll believe it.”  
       “I hope you’re right.”  
***

       Eren very quickly regretted the decision to walk to work that morning. It was the early stages of winter and theres only so much heat that his body culd maintain without it being stolen from him. The snow on the ground was pretty, but it’s not fun to look at when you’re half asleep and imagining it being your coffin.  
       Armin had been told that he wasn’t allowed to call him all day, so would it be hypocritical if he called him first? He looked at his phone deciding what would be the best thing for him to do. He didn’t like being hypocritical, but he decided it would be better to be a hypocrite than to be stuck out there.

      “Armin, come and get me.”  
      “I thought today was your day off, and you told me not to call you.”  
      “Erwin called me in and I need a ride. I know you’re probably at work, but I need you to come get me.”  
       “Eren, I’m really busy,” A sigh came from Armin’s end and he was silent for a few seconds. “Fine, I’ll be there soon.”

***

        Work was slow and Eren really just wanted to go home already. Today was his day off! He works terrible hours and then this is how they repay him? How dare they!  
       Eren sat at his desk in his office and went straight to work, anticipating Erwin to call him at any time. Being that no one thought he was going to be there that day, few papers came into his office to be completed and everyone came in usually had the same reaction, a surprised face. Many apologized and Eren waved them off, taking their papers and doing it quickly.  
      “Excuse me, sir, but this office is taken.” A familiar voice interrupted Eren’s train of thought, and when he looked up, he saw jean with a shitty smirk on his face.  
      “What do you want, Kirschtein?” Eren asked, dragging the name out with a hum.  
       “I’m sorry to tell you, but a man that looks like you works here, except his eyes are usually dead and he’s literally made of coffee. You look too healthy to be Eren.” Jean sat in one of his guest chairs just as he had the day before. “So, why are you here today?”  
       “Erwin said he wanted to talk to me today, so he moved my day off to tomorrow and I’m working today. Why are you in such a good mood?” Eren’s eyes were suspicious. When Jean looked so smartass-y, then he couldn’t be up to much good.  
       “Oh, I just know something you don’t. Erwin’s already told the rest of us about your project. Before you do to see Erwin, I have a quick word of advice. No matter what, say yes. It’ll be the best decision you’ve ever made.” He looked Eren in the eye, his smile slipping away. “Buddy, you’ve been working too hard lately. Are you sure you don’t want to take some time off? Go to Germany or something. You have eyes made to look at the world and they’re stuck staring at a blank computer screen for too many hours. Before you go blind, take your restless soul on an adventure and never,” His eyes were hard and his voice was tough. “ _Never_ regret leaving this shitty place. Saint Maria isn’t wide enough for you.”  
       Eren looked at Jean with surprised eyes. This dude was usually fighty and annoyed him at all hours, but for the past two days, he’s been someone completely different.  
       “You don’t know anything about my me, not anymore.” Eren’s voice was filled with venom.  
       “Please don’t do this, Eren. I know you.” Jean was shocked, not expecting this reaction.  
       “We’re not teenagers anymore, Jean, I’ve settled my wanderlust, and I say you hold onto yours with unbreakable strength, but don’t group me into that anymore. I’m never going to be that kid again, so just give up!” Eren stood, yelling at Jean.  
       “You’re still Eren Jaegar, nothing can take away who you are, so listen here,” Jean also stood and took Eren by the collar of his shirt. “You can push it down however far you want and hold it there with a cork, but the moment it’s free, you’ll have wonder in those green eyes again. I told you about France and your eyes looked like they did 6 years ago! You can’t hide from me, Eren, I’ve known you too long! Don’t let the dead stop you from being you or you’ll be on your deathbed regretting surviving without living just like _her._ She wanted so much more for you. You can still leave, so go!” He let Eren’s shirt go and his eyes were close and Eren saw so many feelings in them. All his fury cleared and Eren looked down at the wood of his desk.  
       “Jean, get out.” He looked at the friend he;d had so long and just sighed before repeating himself. “Get out, Jean. I don’t want to look at you anymore.”

***

       _Why? Why now? Why is everyone exploding at me now? All my friends are telling me to change! And I can’t do it, I can’t. There’s no way out for me now! I’ve already buried myself here and there is no way to get out now._  
      “Mom, help… _please, Mom…_ ” He whispered to himself, his head in his hands in the middle of his office. Overwhelmed, Eren just stared at the tears on the wood of his desk. He couldn’t focus on anything else than the salty tears on the dark surface.  
       It was like he was 17 again.

 _Out drinking with friends, they considered themselves a justice group that usually just sat around and talked, but he knew the reality was that some members would go out on the weekends and sometimes, they didn’t all come back. It took his a long time to come to terms with the fact that he wasn’t just with a bunch of friends, he had joined a gang and soon his time would be coming to go out on the weekend and all he could hope was that he came back._  
       At the end of his 17 th year, it was his time, he was with Jean, both of them having no idea what came next, and the bandana over jean’s face horrified him. The bottom of the skull’s face fitted his perfectly and all Eren could see was his friend being one of them that didn’t come home. Scared eyes stared into each other’s and they both realized that they were still just dumb kids.  
       “Eren, I want to go home.” He remembered his friend whispering to him in the back of the truck. He had no idea where they were going, but he knew he wanted no part of it.  
       “Me, too. Should we…should we leave? Just jump off the back at the next red light?” The nod that responded put a whole new kind of fear in his heart.  
       They didn’t do it. The mission was canceled and everyone went home.  
       Eren always wished the mission was finished, he wished he didn’t go home.He wished he didn’t see-

       “Eren?” Armin’s voice interrupted Eren’s terrible thoughts. “Eren, were you thinking about…?”  
       A small nod from his friend sent him across the room. He pulled Eren from his chair and pulled him into a hug. Neither were much for physical demonstration of affection, this was reserved for the times where Eren was tearing himself to pieces. Armin slid his hand over Eren’s back repeatedly while Eren held him tightly. Friends for 20 years means that this wasn’t the first time this had happened, not nearly.  
       “It’s okay, it’s over, it’ll never happen again. You’re safe.” Armin whispered to his friend, reassuring him everything was alright.  
       It took a few minutes, but eventually, Eren stopped panicking and the red color fled from under his eyes. Armin lead him up to Erwin’s office.

***

       Erwin questioned Armin about what took so long, but instead of getting an answer, he got an apology from Eren, and knowing Eren and all he’s been through, he didn’t question it. Again, this wasn’t the first time this kind of thing happened.  
       Eren and Armin sat down on Erwin’s sofa while Erwin sat at his desk. His face was thoughtful, trying to figure out the right way to present the idea. He wanted to give detail and to reassure Eren everything would be ok.  
       “Alright, Eren. Last night while I was…intoxicated, I told you about an upcoming project with a friend of mine. Levi Ackerman works at another business in our group, the one we work the closest to, he is the right hand to Mike Zacharius much like our own Hanji Zoë. Well, he’ll be working with you most specifically, you two will be directly working with some of our other business partners for about a month, and then you’ll be finishing the work in the days following.” Erwin put his finger together, staring down at the touching fingertips in thought.  
       “Could you give me more details on the project?” Eren was confused, getting minimal information, none that he really needed without more information.  
      “Of course. So you’ll be mostly in meetings, representing “The Link Horizon Corporation” and Levi representing “The Sweet Gloria Company”. You’ll be going to a meeting almost daily, there are plenty of companies we would like for you two to visit and talk to in hopes of making connections, and then you’ll also be visiting partners we already have. You’ll get more details on the schedule and we’ll be giving you plenty of numbers to relay to them, but I doubt you’ll need to be reminded, with your workload, you obviously know them by heart.” Erwin smiled at the fact he had such a hard working employee.  
       “You talk like I’ll be going so many places, but Saint Maria isn’t that big and there’s only two companies in the entire city and area surrounding that are big enough for us to partner with and we’re in one and partnered with the other already.” Eren was kind of fidgety, not sure if he liked where this may be going.  
      “You’ll be working away, actually. Away from Saint Maria, truly the only person you’ll really get to talk to from here is Levi. He’ll be your guide, since you’ll be in your home territory of Paris, France.” Erwin was smirking now, knowing well that Eren wasn’t expecting that.  
       “Sir, I have never been outside of Saint Maria other than the hurricane evacuation thirteen years ago, but that was only to Saint Rose.” The young boy couldn’t quite swallow what he was being fed. “Are you sure you want me to go?”  
      “There’s no one I would like better to go.” Erwin gave him an encouraging smile.  
       “I’ve never met Levi before and now you’re sending me on a month long trip to Paris with him? When is this? What about school, sir? I’m still in school.”  
       “Armin told me about the extended break you have coming up. You’re a senior in college and if I gave a notice to the school, I could definitely convince them to allow you more time away without penalty.” Erwin’s smile faded, now this was question time. “And on the Levi subject, you’ll be meeting him this evening, we have dinner reservations. Don’t worry, you won’t be alone, Me and Armin will be there. Nothing bad will happen and I’ll be giving you more details when we have you two together. Please consider, Eren.”  
      “I agree for now.” He looked down at his watch. “I should get home so I can get ready.”  
       Erwin nodded. Eren stood from the sofa and had Armin along with him. Erwin closed his laptop as Eren and Armin left his office.  
      “I hope this all works out.”

***

       Eren got home, courtesy of Armin who would be back in an hour to pick him up. Tiredly, he put his work bag on a kitchen chair and left his thermos on the counter after pouring out the remaining coffee. After his shower was turned on, warming up, he went into his closet and picked out a fancy tuxedo that had been tailored for him only weeks prior, which was good because there was no worry it wouldn’t fit. His work clothes found their way into a laundry basket and he put out a towel. The water of the shower felt glorious against his tired body. He didn’t usually shower twice, but he also didn’t wear a tuxedo, but the information Armin gave him told him meant he had _better_ look good.  
       Upon getting out of the shower, he dried his hair and wrapped the towel around his waist. He went over to his sink and shaved his face. He combed his damp hair and sprayed cologne on his skin.  
       Once fully dry and well groomed, he changed into his tux and looked at it in the mirror. He didn’t usually wear nice clothing such as this, but when he did, he looked really fancy.  
      He put on his nicest watch and polished black oxfords and almost left the bathroom when he noticed something in the mirror.  
     Honestly, Eren almost didn’t recognize himself. He had life back in eyes he always looked at, the ones he was used to be dull and dead, his face was shaved and his hair was parted instead of being left a mess. With it being untangled and laying nicely, he realized it was long.  
        And then he was reminded of why he liked to be more messy while still being presentable. When he was clean, he looked like his mom. Realizing this fact, he looked away from the mirror.  
       He went into his living room, waiting for the text ringtone to sound, and when it did, he stood and went to go outside, but once he looked down at the screen, he didn’t see Armin’s name, but instead a number not saved to his contacts. He unlocked his phone and read the message.  
        _Hello, my name is Levi, I will be meeting you tonight. Erwin gave me your number, please add me to your contacts._  
        When Eren went to respond to the message, his phone vibrated and the screen popped up with the call screen and “Armin Arlert” across the middle. He slid the green phone icon, and greeted Armin, patting his pocket to make sure he had his wallet.  
       “I’m coming, see you in a sec.” And as soon as he had answered the call, he ended it and found his friend out front and got into the car.

***

        “Tell me you’ll behave yourself.” Erwin leaned over his shoulder to tell him.  
       “Fuck off, eyebrows, you shouldn’t be telling me this.” A dark haired man said in a growly voice. “I don’t even want to be here, so maybe be a little nicer, huh?”  
       “Nice? Maybe I’ll be nice when you behave yourself.”  
       “Whatever, is the brat going to be here soon?”  
       “Yeah, Eren and Armin should be here any second.” Erwin looked at his friend, who was currently patting all his pockets. “What’s wrong? Levi?”  
      “I was going to text Petra about my upcoming absence, but now it seems I left my phone in the car. When they get here, tell them I’ll be back. I’ll try to be quick.”  
      Levi left the restaurant and passed a few young looking men who wore nice suits. He didn’t look up to meet their gazes. _Yeah, whatever, shitty brats._

***  
       Eren was still doing his anxious looking thing. There weren’t many people, and the one person they did pass was walking too quickly for him to see a face. His chest once again felt heavy by the sight of the dark hair in the street lights. He wanted to turn, to run after him, but all he did was stop for a moment before continuing.  
       “You okay?” Armin looked up to his friend, but was reassured by his regular face.  
        “Yeah, I’m fine, just kind of nervous. Are you ok?”  
        “I’m great. I think you’ll really like Levi.” He smiled to encourage his friend to feel better.  
       “I hope so. Let’s go find Erwin.”

***

       When getting to the restaurant, Eren held the door for his friend and they found Erwin quickly.  
       “Hi, Erwin. Where’s Levi?” Armin asked, thinking that he heard Levi was riding with Erwin.  
       “He left his phone in the car, so he went to go get it. I feel bad that we had to park so far away. But wither way, should we go sit without him?”  
        “Yes.” Armin answered while Eren just nodded. Erwin gave the host his name and then told him he had another friend coming, so if he could just lead him back that’s be great. The host agreed and lead them to the table in the back. The entire wall made of windows and Eren looked out them in awe.  
       “Never seen a scene like this before, Eren?” Erwin asked him, looking at his face in amusement.  
       “No, this is my first time, it’s beautiful.” Eren kept his focus out the window. The restaurant was the top of a very expensive hotel owned by Erwin’s old, and by old it’s meant that their friendship is almost eldery, friend Dot Pixis. The view was out of a movie, the street light beautiful, but really caught his attention was the few streets that were covered in multicolored stringed lights. It was the culture of Saint Maria to be brightly lit in the early hours of the night into the early morning, and Eren had always loved walking under the lights, but nothing made him feel as alive as looking at this thing that screamed _home_ like all these lights together. He saw a small park on the other side of town that was also illuminated by colored lights and he could see the way the light reflected off the pond. And then was the true sight he wished he could see, the horizon bending the buildings.  
       “Oh, Levi’s coming.” Erwin’s voice brought Eren back to reality. He kept his eyes on the window for just a second before turning and viewing the man that he would soon be getting to know.  
       Eren turned to view the raven haired man. _Raven, like the wings of the man who was finally getting away._ Eren thought to himself, and in the second he took in the face of Levi Ackerman, he remembered everything.  
       _I swear I saw you in a dream…_  
        He could feel the agonizing sadness all at once and the three men around him all went silent and stared at him until Erwin decided to speak.  
       “Eren, why are you crying?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and kudos encourage me to write more, so if you don't want to see this fic die, then i ask you yell at me!


	4. Chapter 4 Part 1 - Dream

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren's full dream. The reason he feels so much sorrow when he wakes up and the reason he cried in front of Levi.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Did you like Chapter 3? I really liked writing it.  
> Anywho, this is part 1 of chapter 4, the dream! I know it probably doesn't count, but I'm a lazy bones who likes to shower you in angst! So i get to be angsty and lazy? Hell yeah!  
> I'll be posting the actual chapter either later today or tomorrow!  
> Thank you for reading, welcome if you're just joining me today, and please enjoy Chapter 4.1!

_Drifting deeply into sleep. Nothing but darkness in front of my eyeslids. There is peace here, the sunlightis soft but still does not affect the fact that I am half asleep. Drifting, drifting, drifting…_  
      I awake, sleepy eyes and the moonlight illuminating the room, I am content and I don’t want to wake up. Dreams luring me back but something better calls me to consciousness, my name on his lips pulls me forward.   
        “Eren, wake up.” The voice is soft and my eyes open slowly and are met with an angel’s face, I may be mistaken, but I’m sure pure wings are behind him. I blink, the wings are gone, but the silver eyes in front of my face threaten to swallow me, the pale face that is usually so tired looks like life has been shot through his veins like blood made of colors I will never see. Pale skin glowing in the moonlight like he was meant to be there, and black hair shining. He is so beautiful.  
       “Would you take a walk with me?” His eyes that are meant to hold distain and disgust are so soft and kind for only me. However strange it is that I am looking at his face in the night and agreeing to walk with him, I still nod my head in agreement. I don’t see a clock anywhere but somehow I know it’s midnight.  
        It is him that makes me so strange and so all the strange things are normal. He is made to walk at night, an angel before me, the moonlight resonates inside of him and is reflected on his wintery breath. Silver eyes glistening, how have I become so lucky to see this?  
       I walk with him. In the night we dress like the richest of men in a time over a hundred years before us. I in all black and my beloved in white. An angel and a demon stretching our legs out before us as we walk on tightropes above the city. Somehow, we are also standing on the ground and walking in the clouds, we cannot be held to staying in one place.  
       We stop and before us are trees covered in snow, the moonlight reflecting on each snowflake and the colors coming back are that of some sort of prism. We stand under the trees and he won’t meet my eyes, and my gaze becomes worried before he looks up into my face.  
        “Tonight, we will be married here under the trees and when we die, our souls will come back and for all of eternity we will be together.” His voice is sweet and seems to drip like chocolate on a summer day. We stand together for only a second, the silence being the audience of our eternal bond growing into matrimony only the two of us will know of. It was a beautiful ceremony and time will forget it as time will forget us, but we will never part.  
       Our lips touch and the wind blows, picking up our hair and trying to carry it away, or maybe it was trying to take the entirety of us. My heart so light and full of love, in those moments, I don’t dobt it would take me away.  
       The scene changes and the man I am now married to has vanished, I look to my right with dread and the blood of two I am not familiar with drains and there my lover stands, a gun not in his hands, but in my own, I had the right, didn’t I? Why would I kill innocent people if it not justified? He still doesn’t look to me in anger, nor betrayal, only sadness piercing his eyes as tears fall and he meets my gaze.  
       Flames lick around my feet and I am soon drowning in them and he looks away, he cannot bear to watch, and I know, I know tears are falling. A figure I don’t recognize pulls him close and although he tries to pull away, in the end he allows it to take him away. The flames don’t hurt, they are familiar and comforting, but I know what lies beneath them in agony, so the anger keeps up the wall and I am burning.   
       Water comes and I allow myself to be taken away, I cannot feel anything, and I see my hands are busy but I don’t control them.  
       I hear a scream, but I cannot tell from where, it is a plea for help and I keep looking for the direction of the sound, but it is nowhere, not up or down or on any side around, slowly it becomes clear that the one screaming for help is me. No, I sew my mouth shut, I shove the feelings down and still there is a scream and I look for where it’s coming from and now he’d right in front of me. We are both drowning.  
       I am drowning and I want to save him, put him on my shoulders and shove myself further into the dark so that he can get out. I don’t know who he is, he won’t face me, but I have the feeling of my heart breaking like violin strings snapping. I take him by the shoulders and turn him to look at me and now he is afraid, but when his eyes meet mine, he is gone.  
       The scene changes and now the room is blank, and I can’t see a thing, until I blink and there he is in front of me, and he is crying for relief. I reach for him but I am not close enough and my legs deny me. I want to wipe those tears, I want him to know he isn’t alone. I am here with him, he will never be alone.  
       The sound of his shirt ripping makes me realize he is no longer himself, over his white clothing there is now a uniform of a  light brown jacket and black straps confining him. The place where him badge was is now gone. He spreads his angel wings but they have been dyed black, theyare now the wings of ravens, and I know that was the cost of his fall from grace.  
       Finally, my legs will move and when I’m about to reach him, he takes off and his teary eyes are wide, all I can do is scream for him.  
       “Levi!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So much writing and the real chapter 4 isn't even done yet oh nooo.


	5. Chapter 4 - Part 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eren and Levi meet for the first time and somehow they both know this was meant to happen. They get to know each other just a bit and a little bit of Levi's past comes up in a horrifiying moment, but soon, they are back to Eren's house, getting drunk, and finding that they are safe together, letting their walls down in a drunk explosion of feelings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm a day late so i split the chapter in half (not an exact half, being that part 1 was the shortest "chapter" and part two is my longest so far.) Plus, i've gone over by a little under a thousand words as an apology. I hope you like this one!!!  
> Hi, thank you for reading, welcome if you're joining us now, and please enjoy the true chapter 4 of "When you Sleep"!  
> I'll be posting this Saturday. Thanks!

       “Eren, why are you crying?” Erwin’s voice was full of concern and it shook Eren to the core.  
       “Oh, I’m crying?” He pulled the handkerchief out of the front pocket of his jacket and dabbed under his eyes. “Sorry about that, the lights are just so beautiful, I guess I got caught in emotion. Please excuse that.”  
        Eren stood and shook Levi’s hand and the group were kind enough to act like nothing had happened, but the embarrassment still shook Eren to the core. When he sat, he picked up his menu and picked out his meal, but kept up as long as acceptable to hide. By time he put it down, the other men were all chatting about nothings that Eren truly didn’t care about.  
       “So, Eren. You told me before that you’ve never left Saint Maria, can you tell me why that is?” Erwin noticed he was back into their small part of society and tried to reel him into the conversation.  
       “Oh, sure. I was born here and my family preferred to stay at home for bonding time, so I was in the same house from the time I was born to the day I graduated high school, I was given a scholarship at the University for my grades and extra circular participation in plenty of teams and clubs, so my first year away from home I needed to stay close, so I moved to a house on the higher end on the city, and I then busied myself with work and have never given myself the time to leave.” Eren kept his voice in a respectful tone and kept direct contact with Erwin, but didn’t so without a quick glance to the man to his right and the one in front of him.  
       “I don’t blame you for staying, Saint Maria is very nice.” Erwin smiled and looked across the table to Armin, begging him without a word to keep the conversation going.  
       “Eren and I have known each other for about 20 years,” Armin told the table but was looking at Levi. “He’s very intelligent, the only class he ever did poorly in was his language class. Well, I wouldn’t consider it poor, but with a straight A student, I guess a B isn’t the best.”  
       “Oh? And what language was that?” Levi asked, eyeing Eren with a dim curiousity.  
       “Sp-“ Armin started but he was interrupted by Eren.  
       “German.” He said, being that he didn’t remember most things from Spanish and if Levi knew the language and decided to test him, he didn’t want to mess up. Being his dad was from Germany, be knew plenty of German.  
       “German, huh? Translate this for me; Ich hätte nichts dagegen, dich jetzt hart zu ficken, miststück.” Levi’s eyes turned into something else, something Eren couldn’t place, but even if he wasn;t getting the look from the older man, the words carried a message heavy enough.  
       “I don’t think I would like to repeat that.” Eren said with a face quickly blossoming into a red shade. Levi’s face slid into a smirk, knowing his obscenity got through to the brat.  
       “I see that you live up to your class, knowing what I said so well, I doubt you gave up on German after high school. Good job, kid.” He was now intrigued with Eren.Seing that he didn’t react badly meant that he was at least open to trying something, maybe Levi would take him home with him and show him he lived up to his words.  
       The gentlemen ordered and ate their food, small talk happening through the meal but soon Erwin interrupted their eating with details for the trip.  
        “You’ll be in Paris for exactly four weeks, Levi has agreed to using his apartment in the city for the majority of the trip, but on the final week you’ll be in a house in the country, courtesy of our friend’s in France who want to apologize for flying you there on such short notice and pounding you down in meetings. The flight will be eight hours, of course you’ll be in first class. Your schedules for meeting will be mailed tomorrow and should arrive the day you get there. Since you’re in a major city, you will be getting a rental car for the last week of your trip but for the first 3 weeks, you’ll have to depend on taxis. There will be time for sightseeing and since majority of the meetings will be taken by Levi, on the days you get to be back early or stay home, Eren, there will be your precious art supplies. Levi, a woman has already been notified to clean your apartment and stock your home with necessities.” Erwin ended his small speech and looked at the two for questions, but Eren simply looked overwhelmed and Levi looked like he had heard that information maybe a hundred times.  
       “Erwin and I have to go, we had plans for tonight after this, so you two may do whatever you please.” Armin looked at Erwin in the eye, silently telling him to behave. Erwin left money on the table for payment and guided Armin out of the restaurant. Levi leaned forward and intertwined his fingers, staring at Eren. Eren looked at him worriedly.  
       “Yes?” Eren lwas obviously nervous to be alone with Levi after being told he wouldn’t be.  
        “How come you’ve worked for Erwin so long and I’ve never seen you before?” Levi spoke with a sharp voice.  
       “Oh, I work for far too long to go out and even if I had the time, I’m in my final year of college, so I still have some work.”  
        “Oh? You’re 23, right? That means you would have graduated a year or two ago.” Levi sat back, but kept his eyes focused on Eren, this kid was going to have to entertain him for a while.  
        “Yes, I got my undergrad directly after high school, but I had to take a year off of college because of work, it was the year we were working with that buyer in Israel, I was working impossible hours as I always have, but these hours were fast paced and I can usually take a breather now, but for the entire year, I was suffocating in documents. Lots of fixing documents for the new workers and the interns. Everyone was high strung and that caused a lot of issues, which came down to me. I restarted last year and I graduate in May.”  
        “What are you going to college for? Business and Finance? Psychology? Journalism?”  
        “Art.” Eren said, realizing how stupid this may sound. Embarrassment was unyielding and it crushed him.  
        “Oh yeah, Erwin mentioned something about painting in my apartment.” Levi looked at Eren with a bit of disgust. “You make a mess anywhere and I’ll end you.”  
       “Nice to know, I’ll keep that in mind.” Eren’s nervousness didn’t go down, he tried to swallow it down but it still left a taste in his mouth that couldn’t be washed away.  
       “I like art, paintings, drawings, photography, pencil sketches, colored drawings, doodles, as dumb as some people believe that artists are, as much as they believe they’re  just silly daydreamers that don’t know what they’re getting themselves into, I would buy a college kid’s final project before even considering getting Monet or Van Gogh, because they capture feelings I can understand better.” Levi closed his eyes, trying to think of a good thing to say to make Eren feel better, as if he hadn’t already. “Art will live through time, so why are artists put down for creating things that they’ll be remembered for. Long after you’ve been put in the ground or dropped in the ocean or whatever you do, your art will still hang on walls and people will still stare into the strokes trying to understand you. Every movement, every color, every shift in mood you bring to canvas will capture more than the world, it’ll capture you.”  
       Eren looked at him, completely surprised by his words. His mouth fell open in disbelief, this was not the reaction he was waiting for, he thought Levi was going to call him dumb, tell him he’s dreaming and he needs to wake up, not that everything he was working for was what he was meant to be doing. Silence stretched between them until Eren realized something.  
       “Oh shit,” He said, pulling his phone out quickly. “There is definitely wrong with Armin, how am I supposed to get home since he drove me here? I’m sorry, I have to make a ca-“ Eren looked very distressed until Levi interrupted him.  
       “I’ll be driving you home, don’t worry about it. We should actually get going now.” Levi was looking down at his watch before he stood. “I wanted to show you something before you have to get home, let’s go.”

***

       The gentlemen walked out to Levi’s car and when Eren saw it, he stood still in shock. When Levi took notice, he yelled to him.  
       “Why aren’t you moving properly? We gotta go.”  
        “You’re driving a Jaguar in the middle of winter? With ice everywhere?”  
        “Yeah, I don’t drive this one around a lot, but when you’re going somewhere fancy, I like to show it off. Usually I drive my Jeep Wrangler. Now can we go?” Levi looked annoyed and Eren hurried to get into the car.

***  
        Levi drove him to a park on the side of the city Eren hadn’t been to in years. The lights of the city usually didn’t reach down this far, but this park was unusually bright for being in the low end. Eren got out of the car and approached the pond. This fish was filled with koi fish, unusual for this area, but someone bought a bunch of koi illegally there a few decades before and the huge pond was a good space for them.  
       Eren then went over to a small flowerbed under a tree. The tree was covered in blue string lights, a soft light falling on the closed buds.  
       “Do you like it? This was one of my favorite places to go when I first got to America.” He knelt with Eren and looked at him. “I’ll be spending a month with you and there’s things I just thought it’d be nice if you knew, so first, know that when I first got to America, I came straight here and slept under trees until I found a way out. Seeing this place means…” He was selecting a word that fit best, but Eren offered a word.  
       “Freedom?” He asked, not meaning anything other than to help, but Levi was absolutely still, his eyes staring, unmoving, if Eren didn’t know anh Eren and looked at him. “I’ll be spending a month with you and there’s things I just thought it’d be nice if you knew, so first, know that when I first got to America, I came straight here and slept under trees until I found a way out. Seeing this place means…” He was selecting a word that fit best, but Eren offered a word.  
       “Freedom?” He asked, not meaning anything other than to help, but Levi was absolutely still, his eyes staring, unmoving, if Eren didn’t know an better, he wouldn’t doubt Levi was a statue. “Levi?””  
        It took a few minutes, but eventually Levi came back and turned to Eren. His eyes were sad and Eren couldn’t help but look into them, they threatened to sweep him away, to make him lose himself, but soon he realized it wasn’t appropriate and this isn’t the person he should be vulnerable to.  
       “Freedom…that’s exactly it. This place means freedom. I left France when I was twenty years old, and for a long part of that time, I was caged up, stuck.”

       _Their blood still running warm, but their veins broken and the blood just streams in the breaks of the cement. Anger and betrayal can’t even touch the surface, drowned by the despair flooding his entire being, watching the only family he ever had murdered, their murderer still stand there, watching them bleed, he’s far away, I won’t run at him, he’ll escape me easily, no matter how fast I am, my legs are giving out and if I run maybe they’ll shatter beneath me._  
        Arms wrap around me and tell me he’s sorry, and I know he isn’t apologizing for the bodies laying dead before us, no, he’s sorry for what will come, he’s sorry for the everyday that is to come for me. If I had known then, I would have run and run, legs shattering is better than what awaited me when the final heart string snapped, and when I was no longer a person, no, I was a belonging to them. _The ones I worked with so long, finally betraying me in the end._  
         I’ll never forget when loving hands became the ones holding my leash as they killed the boy from days gone by. **Never.**

         “Levi, it’s getting late, we should go.” Eren’s voice brought him back. Levi hadn’t even noticed that the young man was no longer beside him, and it took even longer for him to realize his stomach was bleeding, his shirt stained in red, he couldn’t understand what was happening, how didn’t he notice? When did these things happen? Levi looked to Eren who was looking straight at him and not reacting.  
         “Eren, I think I’m bleeding,” He stared down at the red mark on his shirt, and when Eren approached, he looked up, fear in his eyes. “This is bad, Eren, I think I need help.”  
         “Levi, you’re not bleeding anywhere I can see, you’re okay.” He flipped, he switched, this was someone in control of the situation, this was a familiar situation. This wasn’t unlike the things Mikasa did before after losing her parents, after all the things she’d seen.  
        The man looked down at his shirt and it was white once more. He unbuttoned it and his skin was unbroken.  
        “What just happened? I don’t understand, I saw blood, I saw a lot of blood.” Levi was freaking out. Eren took his arm and pulled him up.  
       “You were thinking too hard, it happens sometimes when trauma bothers you, it could have been a near death experience you had that stuck with you, you might have even forgotten but your subconscious remembers, that happened to my sister.” Eren walked him to his car and Lei gave him the keys, too shaken to drive.  
        “I’ll never forget,” Levi whispered outside of Eren’s hearing range. “ _Never._ ”

***

        The pair got to Eren’s apartment and parked the Jaguar in Eren’s driveway. Both got out of the car, Eren inviting him in for a quick drink and a conversation. He had that universe feeling again, the one where he knows something important will come of it if he invites him in. There was no work for him tomorrow anyway, so it didn’t matter how late Levi stayed. Little did Eren know, Levi’s usual day off was also Sunday, so neither were in any danger of staying up too late anyway.  
       Eren didn’t like beer or wine, he thought if someone was going to drink, it had to be tasty. He didn’t want to get drunk or anything, just wanted to offer a good drink. He went straight to his freezer and pulled out a label-less bottle filled with small purple specks, which upon further inspection would clearly be flower petals. Eren got two small glasses down from a cupboard and poured the liquid into each glass through a strainer, then pulled out another bottle of liquid out of his freezer, the label clearly saying “gin”, poured that into the mixture, and finally, some water.  
        Levi watched him mix the drinks, smirking before making a comment.  
       “You know a simpler thing could have sufficed, like wine, cheap wine even. But this is your choice?”  
       “I like to mix things to create a good flavor, if you’re going to drink, drink something good, right?” Eren handed Levi a glass before leading Levi to his neglected living room and retiring to a couch.”I hate shitty stuff like wine and beer.”  
       “What an interesting choice, lavender vodka? I didn’t know that was a flavor that was usually made.” Levi sipped at the cold liquid and stared at Eren. “Wait, did you mix actually lavender into vodka?”  
       “Yes, I did. I never got to try it, though, I’m glad I thought to offer it to you.” Eren admitted. “I figure now it wasn;t a good idea to just give it to you, but if it really tastes that bad, I think we’ll get over it being that the alcohol you usually drink is disgusting, too.”  
       “Well, after telling me you only drink stuff that tastes good, if this tasted like garbage, I’d make you drink it and then I’d raid you kitchen myself. Then I’d get as drunk as humanly possible without dying. Just because it was supposed to taste good. I’m just glad it was.” He laughed at his own terrible, vague joke.  
         “Hey, Le-…” Eren started, but was interrupted by Levi’s phone going off. “Do you need to get that?”  
         “Unfortunately. I’ll be right back.” Levi stood and then went to Eren’s back door, unlocking it and going out.

***

        “What the fuck, Hanji?”  
        “I wanted to know how your date is going. Details!”  
        “It’s not a date, I’m getting to know the coworker I’ll literally be living with for a month so that nothing terrible happens when we’re almost _six thousand miles away._ ” His voice was full of annoyance.  
        “Armin said he’s gay.” Hanji said excitedly and Levi almost dropped his phone.  
        “Why are you telling me?” _And why does that make me somewhat happy?_  
        “Because you’re gay, he’s cute, and both of you are drowning in work. Get that booty. Hanji out.”  
        The call ended and Levi sighed, turning to go back inside.

***

       Levi sat on the couch with Eren once again, but by now Eren had a jar full of cherries sitting in a jar.  
       “Armin told me you’re off tomorrow and I made the corporate decision we’re getting fucked tonight.” He pulled the lid off and the smell that hit them was both euphoric and terrible. Cherries that had been sitting in vodka for a long time, smelled wonderful but the smell of vodka also made their stomachs tighten.  
        “I have to drive home tonight.”  
        “I’ll get you a taxi, we…I mean I live by a main street.” He quickly explained the error. “Armin and I used to live together in a different house on this street, but then blondie met big eyebrows and he wanted to live closer, so he got an apartment on the border of Saint Maria and Saint Rose.” Eren was already feeling a little strange, never been able to hold alcohol well. Bad excuse for a German, huh?  
       “Then I’ll leave my keys here and we’ll just have to go do something tomorrow.” Levi took the jar and drank the juice directly out of it and down two cherries before handing it back to Eren, who did the same. “If we’re going to get fucked we should probably change. Let me borrow some clothes.”  
        Seems Levi can’t take alcohol either, crazy talk for such a guarded man, but then again, Eren made him feel somewhat secure. Maybe it was one of those weird universe things again, they were meant to be together like this right now.  
        Eren went him into his room and gave him a t-shirt and those pull-string shorts.

***

      Once changed, instead of going back to the couch, Eren grabbed the cherry jar and took Levi into his attic to show him all the paintings. Attics were supposed to be scary, but his wasn’t creaky or eerie. The walls were a light blue, the window was clean, the floorboards were glossy, it was dusty, much to Levi’s discomfort, but the string lights made it very beautiful. The paintings were of people and landscapes, all obviously the same style, but each very different in idea. Some were soft and lovely, some harsh and dark, but the brushstrokes were all similar and they all had his signature on the bottom, a cursive “E Jaeger” on each canvas.  
        “They’re all so wonderful.” Levi looked at each in awe. As he went towards the window, the paintings got older, and the paint was darker, a slow shift showing angrier strokes. He got to the final one, and the paint was messy, the strokes were all over, but it was hard to miss what was underneath it all, it was a woman smiling, she had a tired face, but those eyes were so awake, alive, and Levi’s heart ached for her and he couldn’t tell why, maybe just maybe, he already knew.  
        “My mother. She died six years ago.  That’s my first painting               . My dad so desperately wanted to keep it because he said it captured her eyes better than any pictures ever could, but I couldn’t give it up, just looking at it reminds me why I am this way and makes me remember how much she means to me.”  
         “It makes me sad, I can see the fury and the underlying sadness you felt perfectly, but it doesn’t ruin the painting at all, it makes her alive.” Levi looked at him, but Eren didn’t look back, his eyes focused on the painting.  
        “I stare at this painting and always wish it was gentler, but no matter how many times I repainted it, no matter how soft the movements of the brush, it never was my mother. I guess as gentle as she was with me, that fury was her drive and she wasn’t my wonderful, wonderful mother without it.”

***

        Eren and Levi returned downstairs and now, they were really drunk. Eren explained each painting, still eating the cherries which were highly concentrated with alcohol, after only a few, they were very intoxicated. They fumbled down the ladder and were both rambling about something absurd when the doorbell rang.  
       Eren answered the door with Levi clinging to his shoulders, and Levi sighed when seeing who was standing there.  
       “I came to make sure Levi gets home safely.” Erwin was smiling, but he was also obviously kind of nervous. Seeing the drunk men got him worried, it was strange that Levi was so open.  
        “Fuck off, eyebrows.” Levi said with a sloppy voice.  
        “It’s 2am. Hanji went to your apartment to bother you, they said you weren’t home.”  
        “I’m at Eren’s house.” He said it seriously and then looked at Eren. “Can I stay.”  
       “Can you…Yeah.” He looked at Erwin. “Do yu want to stay, too?”  
        Erwin started laughing as he shook his head. “No, I guess I should have just called, but I thought maybe you were drunk, so I thought I’d collect you, but seeing that you’re staying here, I’ll just leave. Have a nice night.” He turned to walk away before Levi called out to him.  
        “I’m not going to work tomorrow, tell Mike. And Eren, he isn’t coming either. Bye.” He closed the door before Erwin could even tell him he’d do so and soon the two were going back to the kitchen.  
        “We should drink some water. Lemme get you some.” Eren opened his fridge and handed Levi a bottle of water and took one for himself.  
         “Where am I going to sleep?”  
        “My bed is big enough, I think we’ll be fine sleeping together on it. I mean, it’s a king and neither of us take up much space.” He shrugged Levi off of him and lead him into his room.  
        “This is my first time sleeping with someone since I was little. My sister needed a nice person to sleep in the bed with her for safety.”  
         “I want to be safe, too.”

***

        They got into bed and almost as soon as the lights were out, they were back to talking.  
         “Eren, do you think this was supposed to happen.”  
        “I think anything should happen as long as I’m with you.”  
        “I’m glad I’m going to France with you.”  
        “I’m glad I get to feel this way.”  
        “How do you feel?”  
          “Alive.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment! They make me really happy!! Kudos are great too! But comments are best!!!!


	6. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Waking is never fun after getting drunk, but I guess with men as strange as Levi and Eren, they know how to either make it really good or bad. After a few shots before sleeping and a few thoughts before driving away, will this invitation end with love or death?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! I'm back!  
> A lot is going on so my schedule might go out the window for a little while, so I'll post when I can and maybe when everything calms down I'll try to start posting on Saturdays again?   
> As always, thank you for reading, welcome if you're joining us now, and please enjoy chapter 5 of "When You Sleep"!  
> I'll be posting soon (I hope).  
> Love you guys!!!!!!!!

       Sleeping deeply, like drowning beneath the waves of an angry ocean, amidst a storm, unable to wake and a boat drifting on the quiet waters of a river. Two upon a comfortable bed, sleeping soundly, tired faces finally getting the rest they had always been begging for, but unfortunately, it will not last for either.  
        The drifting ends, waves begin to collide and now the boat is rocking, water is filling it, every rock leaves it more water than before and with a final rock, it slips underneath the water and begins sinking. Levi is beginning to dream.

       _Hands gliding on my bare skin, I cry out for them to stop, I don’t want this. A chorus of slurs echo in my brain, I should have never said a word about how I feel, and as much as I hate what happens, I can’t stop feeling. Please make it stop, it hurts, I don’t want this,  my body is mine, it’s mine, it’s mine…my body…my….body…this body…this body hurts. It burns, it burns, don’t let it touch your skin, don’t let it…!_  
        A scream. Darkness.  
        I didn’t know how high the cost.

        He awoke with a start and lay there for far too long without understanding what was happening. His breathing was heavy, as if he was still in danger, no pain was on his back, only a ghost hanging from his spine, a memory of the deaths he carries with him.  
       Althought Levi knew he wasn’t home, he still felt no need to look at where he was. He couldn’t remember anything and maybe it may be the memory floating in his dreams and there was no way to differentiate dreams from reality when he walked the thin line bordering consciousness and unconsciousness.  
        For all he knew, he was still 18, living quietly as he could in the hell he called his life, stomach pains and dim eyes violating the man he was meant to be. He could feel his hands, he could get away, he could run, he could escape. Freedom! He could be free!  
       The man sat up in the bed quietly, trying not to lead his partner into wake. He peered around the room, lit by moonlight and the green light of a digital alarm clock. The longer he sat, the calmer he became, the realization of his safety lead him to a better breathing pattern, clearer thoughts, he was going to lay back down when Eren turned.  
       His heart dropped to his stomach, he didn’t want Eren to know what was going on, he couldn’t bear to be asked, maybe last night, but everything means less when you’re drunk, the pain slips away with the alcohol and slurred voices are the only ones who can tell these kinds of stories clearly. How is he supposed to explain to someone that he died when he is so obviously living?  
       Upon regaining composure for a second time, he allowed himself to stare. These features look so peaceful when he sleeps. It left him wondering why he had been crying, yes the lights are moving, but Erwin gave him a bit of a detail on the kid, how hard he is to see into, and when tears so blatantly fall from a man who locks himself away, it truly was a mystery what was swimming inside of him.  
       He only remembered bits and pieces of the night before, but when he got drunk, it was all a blur. Vodka is strong and those cherries in all of their deliciousness, were very concentrated. He remembered a painting and he remembered a call, who had he been talking to? He remembered slamming the door on his best friend, but he didn’t remember going to sleep.  
       Staring, he couldn’t stop staring at the tan face of the one in front of him. It looked so much older in consciousness, but when he sleeps, the aging stress faded from his face and he looked as he should. Levi was trapped, his eyes picking up every blemish and imperfection, he pushed the hair out of Eren’s face and smiled.  
        Eren’s face wrinkled, the peaceful expression becoming twisted into some form of worry and sorrow. Levi moved his hand way and watched Eren’s face. He waiting for the peace to return, or maybe Eren would wake in fear, anything would be great, but Levi couldn’t stand seeing the nightmare doing this to Eren’s face. He placed his hand on Eren’s arm softly, but his thoughts were interrupted by Eren’s sleeping voice.  
       “Fly away…” He muttered in a slurred voice. It was soft, almost inaudible, but Levi heard it, and his reaction wasn’t soft. Without a single thought, his muscles responded to the impulse, and Levi pushed Eren to the ground.  
       Eren scrambled for a second, not understand what happened. Levi considered quickly laying down, but before he could make a decision, Eren’s eyes caught his.  
       “What happened?” He said in a scared voice. “Was I attacked?”  
       “Yes, now if you’ll excuse me,” Levi swept his feet off the bed and stood on the wood of Eren’s bedroom floor. He selected one of the wrinkled blankets hanging off the end of the bed and walked towards the open door leading out into Eren’s living room.  
       “Where ya goin’?” Eren looked at Levi as he got to the doorway.  
       “Sleeping with you was a drunken mistake, I am much more comfortable sleeping by myself on your couch. Thank you for being so kind. I’ll see you in the morning.” Levi turned and walked away, but before he could make it to the couch, a hand caught his wrist.  
       “What is it?” Levi looked at him, but quickly looked away when meeting his eyes, the sad look glaring down at him was too much for him to bear. Eren let go of his wrist quickly and looked at Levi.  
        “Oh, I didn’t think about that, something just said not to let you go.” He hit himself on the side of the head, not hard enough to hurt, but hard enough to make him point. “I guess I’m just stupid, sorry about that. Too tired for my own good. I’ll…I’ll just leave you to it.”  
        Eren walked away and closed his bedroom door behind him. Somehow, the sorrow from the dream returned, but he couldn’t tell if he had had it again or not. He knew it wasn’t the dream, it was the feeling Levi left him with, it was the sorrow he felt from being left all alone.  
       Levi sat on the couch, it was just a bit after 2 am said the clock on the stove in the kitchen. He was awake now, so all there was to do was wait until he got tired again. He reached for his phone in his pocket to find it wasn’t there, a pocket or his phone and he realized it must be in Eren’s room. He looked at the door in longing, but he couldn’t tell if he was longing for the phone or the comforting physical contact that he had been given.  
       It wasn’t possible to go back, after that dream and the words out of the boys mouth, he was too heartbroken to go back into the room.  
        Both wanted to reunite desperately, something had spark a fire inside of them, nothing passionate or bright, just the slightest flickering flame that made them want more. It wasn’t strong enough to make them do anything ridiculous, but enough to slowly melt the icy reservations surround their hearts just a little bit.  
         Levi grabbed folded blankets off the couch to warm up, not a single light illuminating the home as he swayed through the dark to find his place on his side of the closed door. Little did he know, Eren grabbed the massive comforter off the bed and sat on his side, both too tired to hear the knocks against wood as they settled into sleep, and in the unknowing comfort of each other’s presence, they fell asleep.  
        _One foot in front of the other, keep breathing just like they taught you…_

***

       Light filtered through the blinds of Eren’s bedroom window as his eyes stayed closed. Relief flooded him, knowing it was his day off, he could sleep all day if he liked, but something was telling him to get up. He wasn’t necessarily tired, he actually felt fine, well, except for a few aches. The sleep he had gotten the night before was fulfilling, and as a small sign of victory, he went to turn in his comforter and slid off the door.  
         Eren was surprised to say the least. He couldn’t quite feel his body when first awaking, and closed eyes were no help to tell him he wasn’t in bed. He laid on the floor for only a second before jumping up, tired limbs threatening to make him tip, but he wouldn’t. His eyes looked around the room and it felt off. Something was missing, something that was there that was no longer there.  
        _Levi._  
        The cold of the door handle hit his senses, he had been preparing to rip it open to check the couch, but instead, he opened it slowly as not to make much noise as his door creaked.  
        Hardly open, Eren felt weight fall against his leg. In surprise, he looked down and saw a face he didn’t recognize at first. The hard eyes closed, the features usually hard in consciousness were slack. There slept the older man with the dark hair. Heart strings bled as they were reminded of the dream he remembered all at once but now couldn’t remember much of.  
         Eren sat on the ground, moving at not to make the man wake up. His fingertips ran over the soft raven hair and in that moment, his heart felt warm once more. The comforter that had up until that point been abandoned on the floor was pulled over Eren’s shoulder’s, keeping him warm. The feelings he was feeling were unfamiliar and Eren wasn’t sure if they were okay to feel or just another coffin to bury in the graveyard of his heart, the problem was, Eren didn’t like to feel.  
        Sounds of a stirring sleep, quiet groans as a dream came to wakefulness. Staring down at Levi’s face, Eren panicked, there was no way of escaping the scene playing out, what was Levi going to say when he woke up? When he saw Eren holding him, what was Levi going to do? An even bigger question came to Eren’s mind.  
        “Why am I holding him?”

***  
        Eren quickly moved away, hoping he had enough time. If Levi saw, he would surely refuse to go to Paris with Eren and all Eren wanted to do was _leave.  
_          It took a few seconds for Levi to wake up, and when he did, he stared at the ceiling. He again didn’t know where he was and didn’t know what to do. It was the first time he had slept anywhere but his bed since _those days._  
           Eren’s face appeared and Levi relaxed, which surprised him, not knowing he had even tensed. The sight of the brunnette’s dumb features calmed him a lot and he felt something in his chest he couldn’t quite place. He couldn’t stop staring, his feelings settling and then he realized what was wrong, so just like Eren had only minutes before, he shot up and before Eren could say a word, he waltzed into Eren’s bathroom and slammed the door.  
         “Damn, that brat, why was he getting so close?” Levi placed his hand on the sink and let his head fall. He hated being close to others, touching wasn’t usually allowed by anyone but Eyebrows™ and Shitty Glasses™, but now he had one to add.  
         Brat™

***

       Levi cleaned himself up, using water to press down his messy hair and wiped away the sleep from his eyes. He looked like shit, as he usually did in the morning, the indents of the door on his face wasn’t so great but he knew soon it’d go away.  
        At least this time, the bad appearance came from good sleep and not bad sleep.  
        Grumbling as he left the bathroom, he found that Eren looked fresh and his self-consciousness skyrocketed, he didn’t want to be seen. He was an empty house trying to be sold, he can’t look like he’s been lived in. Every second longer Eren’s eyes caught on him, he could feel every fingerprint ever left on him, he was dirty.  
        _I thought I was getting better._ He thought to himself, he thought that feeling this way was over, but no one beautiful was supposed to look at him like he was worth something, no one was supposed to see. _Just what has this kid seen?  
        _ Levi was a worn house that had been _put back together_ but never _fixed._ He had been shaken to the structure and he had fallen over and over again but always too scared to really work out the issue. The problem wasn’t the walls, it was the foundation that always shook and settled when the wind blew through the cracks in the windows just right. Sometimes he dared to open those windows, and before it’s even fully open, a breeze would sweep in and send everything crashing down.  
       That house that made this man was abandoned and all he could do was sweep everything out before the cluttered mess sent him falling all over again.

***

        Eren couldn’t help but stare at him. He wasn’t drunk, now he could see Levi as the human he is instead of the scary stiff creature he had been introduced to. It took a few moments, but tension grew between them and soon it was suffocating.   
         “Do you want to go home now?” Eren asked him, turning his eyes to his unmade bed. “I can lend you some clothes, they’ll be big but you don’t want to wear a dirty suit again, do you?”  
        “You already lent me clothing, I couldn’t ask for you to give me more.” Levi’s voice was clear, and hearing it almost surprised him. He looked down at himself and saw the clothes he was wearing. If he didn’t know any better, he would say he liked them.  
        “Well, you can’t go home in a dirty suit and I’m not letting you leave my house with those shorts on in the middle of winter.” Eren looked at him with a mixed expression (trying not to smirk, probably). “I think I  have some of Armin’s pants and I can give you a sweater, it’ll be big but that also means it’d just be that much warmer.”  
        “I’ll accept, then, I have no other options.” Levi’s face was almost blank, falling into it’s usually disappointedly bored face. “Hey, kid.”  
        “Hmm?” Eren poked his head out of his closet.  
       “I’d like to get coffee, do you want to go?”

***

       The pair got ready quickly. The pants Eren gave Levi were actually the perfect size for Levi, Armin might have been taller but he was lighter and the pants were a bit stretchy, not manly, but warm.  
       The first thought Levi had when pulling the sweater over his head was something along the lines of _Whoa, this really smells like Eren!_ Before realizing the reason it smelled like the little shit was because it belonged to him. He was embarrassed by it and forced the feelings to disappear. He finished dressing and thenleft Eren’s bathroom.  
         The bed was made and Eren was no longer in the room, Levi wandered out of the room and saw Eren in the kitchen. He looked dazed, staring at a coffee pot. A creak in the floor sent Levi cursing, a bit frightened by the sudden loud sound and Eren’s attention flew over to Levi.  
        “Oh, you’re ready to go? Alright.” He shook his head and headed towards his door with Levi just behind him. The heavy door swung open and the pair were violated by cold air. The snow on the ground in front of them was pure white and the sunlight hit just right so that it looked like diamonds on the ground. Upon seeing it, both felt bad just for stepping in it, it was like a tragedy to taint something so beautiful.  
       But neither knew that there were two greater tragedies just standing on the doorstep of Eren’s house.  
        The snow on the ground will last the winter, but maybe if whatever deity is out there will permit it, the snow that has lasted years will slowly melt away from both.  
        Or maybe, their poor hearts are about to be buried in a blizzard.

***

       The car ride to the coffeeshop was quiet, both remembering only a little from last night, vague images and sounds gracing their memories. Eren remembers intense feelings but can’t place if they were sorrow or anger.  
      As for Levi, he remembered moments of hanging on Eren and yelling at the Idiotic Eyebrow at the door, he remembered lavender vodka and a jar of cherries that were very potent with alcohol. Even though it was so strange for Levi, he was happy. Maybe this was the beginning of something grea-  
        _No, I will always be alone, it’s all I…deserve after all I took it’s time to pay.  
       _ Eren looked at Levi’s face twist into several expressions, but soon decided not to watch, he knew there was something there he wasn’t supposed to find out. It was probably better that he looked away, because if he had kept staring he wouldn’t have seen the fact they were turning off the street, slowly turning towards a drop in the ground and if Levi didn’t find his senses, they would be sent tumbling down, down, down…  
        “Levi!” Eren called and the man came back from a sort of daze. He saw the doom on Eren’s side and swerved the car the opposite way completely. If they hadn’t been the only car on the street, then there definitely would have been a crash.  
           “I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” Levi repeated the two words over and over again, his face pulled into a heavy expression that wouldn’t be easy to name. Whatever thoughts he was having were overwhelming and he couldn’t stop thinking.  
        _No, I will always be alone, alone, alone, alone, alone, don’t touch me! I didn’t know what it cost to be free! I didn’t know the cost-!_  
        “Fly away.”

***

        Levi snapped out of it by the voice calling to him and when  he looked at Eren, the door was ajar and Eren was gone. Levi stared at in and in the moment of realization that the boy was gone, he almost started crying.  
        “Levi,” The voice calling out to him was soft and then he was being pulled out of the car, the feeling of being a strong embrace met Levi and in the moment he realized it was Eren, he relaxed for a second before becoming even more rigid then he had been only seconds before.  
       “Levi? Are you alright?” Eren’s voice was comforting and Levi felt a hole in his chest filling with cement, it was hard, heavy, and cold.  
        Levi breathed into Eren’s chest, and then all his feelings just…stopped. All that was left behind was the one he usually resorted to when he didn’t want to feel.  
         “Don’t fucking touch me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The best encouragement is plenty of comment so please please please comment!!


	7. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They arrive on the scene! Levi has just told Eren not to touch him and a small conflict is about to arise. Will this coffee date end with a new beginning for the two hopeless gentlemen or will it birth a mistake that will take much longer to heal than it did to make?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello children (I hope there are no kids, there is some gay sex coming up eventually)  
> I am here to give you my love and to tell you fuck schedules, I will update when i can because I am a madman devoid of reason and routine.  
> Either way! Hello everyone joining me with this chapter, welcome back everyone who has been with me all along, I apologize to everyone I have lost!  
> I present Chapter 6 of "When You Sleep"  
> Thank you for reading!

       “What?” Tears were welling in Eren’s eyes before he could even truly understand what was happening. What words had just been said to him, what caused these words to be directed at him. His mind was blank from the second the car stopped, his body moving on its own with him having nearly no idea what he was doing at all.  
      Eren released Levi, the tears didn’t fall, they simply just hung in his ducts until they drained back into his body, instead becoming some form of sadness to be hung in his chest. Looking at Levi, his face was emotionless and that only made Eren feel worse. Getting into the car, he wanted to apologize but the tension was heavy as they made their way towards the coffeeshop.  
      _Why does it hurt?_

***

        Arriving at the coffeeshop, Eren got out of the car and avoided looking at Levi. His heart was heavy in his chest and his eyes couldn’t bear to meet his face. Eren knew there was no chance of understanding him or anything he may do, some people are just chaotic and under the firm exterior, Eren could feel the storm.  
       Levi couldn’t understand it either, it was like panic, the arms around him supposed to be comforting went from a blanket to a cage in milliseconds, the thought in his mind were heart breaking for a reason he couldn’t quite place.  
        “ _He’ll never love you, for just a second you’ll let him see what goes on in the folds of your decaying heart and there will be no recovery for him. He is perfection, and you…”_  
       “I’m sorry…” Levi stopped walking for only a second, his eyes closed, and when they opened he realized he said it out loud.  
       “Huh? For what?” Eren turned to him and when he met Levi’s face, he felt a pulse of need, an urge, a craving to hold him again.  
       “Pushing you away. You were just trying to be kind.” His voice was unusually gentle, it striked one of the heart strings and suddenly the sorrow hanging from them dispersed, fading out for just enough to allow a genuine smile. Seeing this, Levi began moving again.  
       “Oh, no, it’s fine, I shouldn’t have touched you without consent. I’m the one who should be sorry.” Eren’s voice was quieting as the neared the building. Levi brushed in front of him, walking ahead, and if Eren wasn’t paying special attention he would have missed what Levi said.  
       “Thank you,” His voice was quiet, almost inaudibly so, but Eren caught it.  
        “Levi,” Eren caught Levi’s arm and in that moment of contact, the second a touch became a hold, Eren realized what he was diving into.  
         _Oh, I’m opening myself up to him. So…vulnerable._  
        “I don’t like it…” he mumbled, not even meaning to say it aloud.  
         “Don’t like ‘it’? What do you mean? Speak up, brat.” Levi’s eyes set on Eren’s face and he could almost feel his pupils widening. The gentle morning sunlight creeping through the clouds and reflecting on the windows of the city was the backdrop of this scene. Eren looked like an angel to Levi, but beneath his beautiful face, there was a crack, a hairline fracture in the ice around Eren’s heart, unnoticeable to Levi as he saw the gentle face and bright eyes staring back at him, he didn’t know it was there, more or less that he was the one who placed it. Not a word came from Eren’s soft lips and Levi didn’t mind it, he didn’t realize that in that moment, he enjoyed staring.  
        Both were starting to do something they didn’t want to do, something they hadn’t done in a very long time. They were _feeling._  
       “Oh,” Eren’s eyes which had seemed to be in a daze for only seconds while he thought were suddenly revived. “Sorry, I was just thinking, I don’t like how I feel, maybe I’ll get sick soon.”  
       It was a cover at best, he wasn’t necessarily lying being that he always felt somewhat sick but that was more due to treating his body so terribly every single day. Coffee and Poptarts didn’t really give a person all the nutrition they need to survive. Weak food meant weak health.  
        “Let’s get inside, yeah?” Levi got himself to stop staring and began the final stretch into the coffeeshop, Eren just behind him.

***

        The coffeeshop was warm inside and both of the men took a breath, filling their freezing lungs deeply. It was refreshing and everything was so cozy. They found a table with two cushiony chairs on either side and decided to sit there. Jackets sitting on chairs, they sat and relaxed, waiting for the line to dwindle down a bit, they really had all day and everyone in line were mostly to-go orders, wanting a good cup of joe before heading to work.  
          Silence was murderous between them, no words came to mind, well actually, many words came to mind but neither would last a conversation even if they were smart enough to say. They couldn’t look at each other, so instead of communicating, they just stared off and left themselves with crippling thoughts. Eren had a want to leave, it was always his way to escape when it hurt him, but he was always there for other and this time, Levi was with him, so even knowing he could leave and Levi would be fine, he made himself believe Levi needed him. Deep in Eren’s heart, he really didn’t want to go anywhere. Levi on the other hand, tried his best to keep his mind on a good track, setting his attention on one thing and thinking about it until somehow it shifted into something uncomfortable. In the end, both men’s gaze fell onto the line, seeing it slowly dwindle down, down, down…  
          Soon the line was short enough and Levi stood, walking towards the people to become a temporary part of this group, one ever changing, a strange concept but one that is put to work every single day. They got in line and in mere moments, someone was asking what they wanted. They ordered, a regular cup for coffee full of espresso shots for Eren and a mocha latte for Levi. It took less than a minute to prepare the drinks and soon they were back at their table.  
           Once again in silence, Eren sipped at his espressos extremely slowly and kept looking at the things in the coffeeshop when Levi interrupted his thoughts.  
         “I can’t believe you paid.” He looked subtly pissed off, staring Eren down.  
         “What is wrong with me paying? I have enough money, it’s not an issue.” Eren looked back at him and his face was grim. He really didn’t like being talked to like that and couldn’t help looking back at Levi like he was then.  
       “That’s not the issue, I’m the one who asked you to go out for coffee and yet you paid, that’s not how these things go.”  
       “There is no specific way these things have to go, I don’t mind paying, don’t stress it.” Eren waved him off, and took an entire mouthful of espresso before remembering what exactly he was drinking and he wasn’t lucky enough to stop himself from choking it down. Realization hit him instantly, but it had already been done.  
       “That isn’t what I mean,” He sighed and looked Eren straight in the eyes and Eren couldn’t help but look away. “Jaeger, I am a gentleman and when I ask someone out, it is usually my way to pay for them.”  
       “You make it sound like you asked a woman out on a date.” Eren laughed and sunk into his chair just a bit.  
       “You make it sound like that’s a bad thing.” Levi spit back.  
       “It is, I am no woman and this isn’t a date!” Eren looked at him in honest anger.  
       “If you don’t want to consider it a date then stop looking around like you’re in wonderland. We’re just men out for coffee.” Levi’s voice wasn’t raised at all, which only infuriated Eren further, but he pushed it down.  
       Silence once again bred between the pair and Levi knew both times it was his fault. He followed Eren’s gaze around the coffeeshop, being that it was truly wonderful, but then he stopped moving, looking at one thing in particular with dazed eyes.  
       “Are you gay, brat?” Levi put his mug on the table and Eren came back from the land of the dead to focus on the man talking to him. “Because your eyes are undressing me, I can see it.”  
      “Psssh, I’m not gay.” Eren almost dropped his drink. He stood and looked down at Levi. “I wasn’t paying attention, I gave you my time, but now I see nothing will come of this. I should leave.” He put the mug of coffee to his lips and drained the rest before stalking out of the coffeeshop. When he got outside, he stepped to the left of the door and slid down the wall into the thin layer of snow on the ground.  
       “Fuck,” He breathed to himself and reached into his pocket for his phone. The day had still hardly begun and now he would spend it alone, but his concern wasn’t truly with time, it was with Levi’s question repeating in his head. “Oh fuck fuck fuck.”  
       _Am I gay?_

***

       The man left in the shop didn’t know how to react. He sipped his coffee and realized a lot of eyes were on him. The staff, the remaining members of the line, the patrons scattered around the shop. He definitely didn’t like it when people looked at him like this. He drank his coffee, taking his time, but every second became harder to live through and suddenly the coffee was gone. As time continued on he began choking on nothing, the pressure suffocating him as he pushed down the dreadful memories. The wind blowing once the coffeeshop door opened sent his mind spinning  
       White noise filled his eardrums and like sleep becoming full with dreams, all he could see was black fading into dark, dark blue.  
       _Shivering. Naked, blood trying to find a place to go as if it could warm him up, but a frostbitten arm turning blue like the night sky…the only reason he knew he was still alive and not part of the vast galaxy before him was the street light a few meters ahead of him. There he lay in the snow, freezing to death, he couldn’t think for long enough to figure how long he’d been there but he knew time was running out. Only 12 years old and he meets his end in a place he doesn’t know, or at least he thinks until arms are ripping him out of the snow and he stares at the man with the black hat. It was so very cold.  
_        Before he could comprehend what he wanted to do, he knew he needed to get outside, to Eren. How much time had passed? Where could Eren have gone? What was going through his head? Did he get hit by a car? _Why did I let him leave?_

***

        _They lay on the bed. Eren stares at her for hours, like time has already ended and every second longer he lays there doesn’t count. His heart was light, but this wasn’t love. Usually when two people lay together naked, they would want to touch and at the age of 16, this could have been his time to go back to school and tell everyone he had sex with a_ girl. _But instead he lay there, both of them just staring and when he got ready to go home she hugs him and tells him he’s the best because he didn’t make her touch him. But the next day when he’s with Jean, there he will lay on the bed with his friend sleeping, wearing clothes, and all he wants to do is touch. When he tells his father and asks pleadingly what’s wrong with him that night, he’ll have to be ushered away by his sister to help him with the bleeding while mother dearest cleans up the glass._

***

       Levi left the coffeeshop, and looked left and right, almost turning around and walking back into the shop when he saw Eren sitting on the ground.  
        “Oi, brat, the fuck are you doing on the ground? It’s too cold for this shit.” Levi didn’t look upset and Eren stared for just a second too long. He couldn’t stop thinking, remembering his time before time really meant anything to him, before he was counting the seconds, every second closer to an event he didn’t know the exact time of. It’s better to count down to death when you’d rather not be alive with the memories in your head.  
         The second the younger man started crying, there was another break in the ice, and this time he felt it. Why was it then that everything begins to hit the ground? Mother, lovely mother, cannot clean up the disastrous mess this time.  
         Levi pulled him up and the embrace made his chest warm, the ice surrounding his own heart doesn’t split, but there was a drip and just that one drip of water made everything different.  
       “Eren, what’s wrong?” Levi’s voice was so caring he surprised himself. He couldn’t for the life of him understand why he was so soft for this other person. It felt unfamiliar and familiar all at once, like this was meant to happen, like it had happened before, over a million times this had happened before but he knew that he wasn’t familiar with this smell, the neck that his breath died on had never been this close to his face, but this was exactly the way it was supposed to be and he knew that.  
       Eren said not a single word, and Levi was fine with that. He had done plenty of crying in his own time and he knew that sometimes it was best to just let it happen without questioning a thing. Levi dragged Eren along and he was surely grateful in the lull of people around him, so few passing now as there were before, morning shifts already beginning.  
       They reached the car and Eren was now silent. Levi pulled a small package of tissues out of his glovebox and gave them to Eren to wipe away his tears.  
       “Would you like to return to my house or your own? Or maybe you have something else you would like to do?” Levi had already left the street where the small shops had been. At a red light, he stole a glance at the silent Eren, who took far too long to consider his choices.  
       “We should go back to your house to find you something more comfortable to wear and then we can go to an arcade or something fun like that.” Eren tried to give a smile, but a heavy heart didn’t allow it. He looked at Levi and now he was staring, his mind whirling and he wanted it to stop, the only way to make it silence itself was to stare at Levi.  
       “Jagaer, I am 27 years old and I have never been to an arcade. I’d probably lose at everything.” He laughed aloud. “I wouldn’t know what to play or even how to play, really.”  
       “I could teach you of course.” Eren’s heart lightened as the sad feelings drifted off, but a new weight placed itself in his heart. He looked at Levi, he couldn’t help it. The feelings inside were twisting like the milky way and his heart thumped like tiger claws trying to tear apart constellations. “Th-they have shooting games, and there’s old games like Donkey Kong and they have architecture games. Car games, remakes of the games you see on TV like Deal or No Deal and Wheel of Fortune are in there. There’s pinball and…I can teach you to play whatever you want.”  
       “I would like that. Thank you.” Levi could hear the levels in his voice, without looking he could feel the rollercoaster of emotions inside the other man clearly. The sadness turning into fond excitement and then into nervousness. Maybe it was much greater than that.  
       They drove to the other side of Saint Maria. While Eren, who lived in walking distance of the square in the middle of town, was in the heart of society, Levi lived in a more rural sort of place. The street Eren lived on had 12 houses on it, there were double as many on Levi’s street and Levi’s street was more than a mile long.  
      They pulled up to a blue house, the color so pale that it was almost white. The morning sunlight on the windows make it look like the rooms inside were made of gold, and in front of the house was another car.  
       “Do you have a housemate?” The house was at most four bedrooms, two stories and there was a feeling of home-ness to it that Eren doubted could have been there with only one person inside.  
       “Two, actually. A male and a female. Their names are Cloud and Korraline. Cloud is old and his hair is white, and then Korra is pretty young and very small and her hair is multicolored. Mostly shades of brown, but there’s a bit of black and white in there too. Kind of beautiful those two.” He opened the door and Levi stood still, trying not to smirk. After a split second passed, there was loud yelling sound and bumping on the stairs. Launching itself down was a small tabby cat, yelling and when it reached the bottom is jumped into Levi’s arms.  
       “You have cats? Your housemates are cats?” Eren looked at him in surprise and Levi gave a smile and nodded. The smile tore Eren seemingly in half and when the door shut behind Eren, it was like a switch flipped inside of him.  
       “Cloud is probably sleeping on the couch, let’s go see him, shall we?” Levi dropped Korraline and turned to Eren, who was now much closer to him that]n Levi had anticipated. “Uh, Eren…Let’s go see Cloud.”  
       When Levi tried to walk away, Eren caught his wrist and pulled him back.  
        “What you asked me earlier…” _Are you gay, brat?_ “I didn’t want to think about it, but I had no choice. I don’t know what you’re doing to me, but I feel like I’m intoxicated.”  
       In that moment, Eren’s shaking lips were pushed to Levi’s and his eyes were squeezed tight. Levi couldn’t move or think, he didn’t kiss back and his eyes were wide open. The kiss ended and Eren pulled away, looking down.  
       “I knew from the beginning that there would be a reason. Erwin will have to find someone else. Because of this…I can’t go to France with you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please comment, I need validation.


	8. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This is kind of a filler chapter? Most of it isn't about Eren and Levi together, but the effects of them being apart right after feeling the connection that has morphed their hearts and a little bit of who they are? More will most likely be coming soon and that's when it gets real good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm here! So a quick notice is that after chapter 9 then it might get a little intense, but when chapter 10 comes, we'll be getting into the point of the story: Eren and Levi going to France. The majority of the story will be in France, and I really hope you guys eventually come back to me.  
> I know my followers of this story are gone, but when I am finished, this is going to be one of the longest Ereri fics on AO3, and it'll be completed, so I'm not really worried about how many people are going to read it in the end.  
> Fuck schedules, I do love you guys, but some of this is hard to write, mostly being I got into a lull there after the fifth chapter and it's extremely difficult to get back in the groove and I honestly don't remember where I wanted this fic to go. I'll figure it out.  
> Oh, and for anyone who wanted to know, this fic was inspired by (but is not based on) Mary Lambert's song "When You Sleep"  
> This chapter is shorter because lmao I suck.  
> Alright, I'm done rambling.  
> Thank you for everyone who is still reading  
> Welcome everyone who is joining me now  
> And please enjoy my writing!  
> I present the Seventh chapter of "When You Sleep"

       This time, it was Levi who had to be left to stand in silence, there was nothing and also too much for him to say. Eren looked at Levi, hoping for some kind of response, hoping Levi would ask him to _stay._ That was his mistake. The shorter man stood there in silence, a surprised look unable to leave his face.  
       Eren looked at him, staring for far too long, trying to capture this beautiful storm of a man before him. The raindrops in his eyes, the lightning of his veins, the clouds that were pale and dark and gorgeous and everything Eren wanted.  
       Oh how Eren wanted him. He knew what choices he had made, and as much as he thought he regretted them (or at least that he should regret them), he couldn’t find it within him to regret anything. The key to the cage around his heart was no longer in his hands, and he hoped that maybe Levi would set him free. If he didn’t…his heart would outgrow the cage, filled with bitter despair until the metal bars snapped and then everything would hit him.  
       Maybe he would go crazy enough to meet his mother again.  
       Too long. He stared at Levi for too long, finally capturing him in his mind. He would paint a museum full of Levi if he could in that moment, and every painting would be so wonderful and whimsical but not a single one could even do justice to his grace, at least not to Eren.  
        Feet moving, like his heart had taken the reins from his brain and now he was leaving, running, not even sure if he would be able to ever stop moving. He was crazy, it had been a day. The young man was realizing his insanity, but drunken mistakes…or maybe not mistakes, have now concreted a connection and he was terrified of all he has said and done.  
       He always knew a free heart would most likely be the rope around his neck, a cord holding a golden key to his demise. How could he be so stupid to make this mistake? How on earth had he let this happen, something so awful, so terrible, so beautiful.  
       No, not beautiful, he could never find it beautiful. Eren Jaeger is not allowed to find a human beautiful, because the greatest beauty he allowed himself to find was the beauty inside of the tragedy that was Carla Jaeger, the beauty of the death of his lovely mother.  
       Ripped away too soon.  
       “No!” He cried out. He had no idea where he was running, no idea where he had gone. This was a part of town he had never seen before, and now he was lost in the dead of winter. Of course he had to let himself get caught in the middle of an unfamiliar place in the middle of the _snow_.  
      Eren fell to his knees, legs covered in the white out of winter. He was shivering, he was crying, there was a scream building behind his lips and he dare not let it out, he dare not allow himself to feel this way.  
       _I have to go home, I have to erase him from my house. No, no, I need my sanctuary._  
       He called Armin.  
       “Hey, Armin, can you come get me? Yeah, I’m lost. I’ll tell you where I am, I…I want to get home and get changed so I can get to work.”

***

      Armin lectured Eren’s ear off and eventually they compromised. Armin would come to get Eren and they would spend the rest of the day together.  
       After Armin collected Eren, who by that point was shivering and his face was red with tears and cold and he was already so tired.  
         They were silent, they went out to lunch and Eren hardly spoke a word the entire time. Armin was uncomfortable in the silence, because even when Eren was upset, he wasn’t quiet, much to the contrary, he was loud. This was just strange, he was so quiet, focused on something Armin couldn’t even guess at, but he did all he knew to do. He asked Eren what he wanted to know and prayed to whatever god he didn’t poke the bear.  
       “So, you and Levi hung out last night. I didn’t expect you two to get along very quickly.. How did that go?”  
       He poked the bear.  
       Armin expected Eren to stand up and explode; he expected that a staff member would come over to tell them they need to leave. He expected it to get so much worse.  
       Eren stood up and dropped two twenties on the table. Looking at Armin with sad eyes, he whispered.  
       “It was, unfortunately, the best time I’ve had in a very long time.” And left. He spoke his words and left his friend, awestruck, sitting in the booth. It wasn’t until he passed the window that Armin understood what was happening. Armin asked the waitress to box their food and that he would be right back.  
       And Armin ran as fast as he could. He almost tackled Eren when they collided, arms wrapped around his torso.  
       “Eren, wait…what’s wrong, what happened?” Armin’s voice was full of concern, he had never seen Eren like this, he wasn’t explosive, more unresponsive really. He hadn’t seen Eren with such loss of himself since his mother died.  
       “I don’t know what’s happening Armin, I don’t know why I feel like I’m being torn apart.” Eren’s voice was quiet. Armin let go of Eren and turned him around. Tearful eyes looked down at Armin, but they hadn’t fallen yet. “I was with him and it was like everything was alright and then…and then I…and he…and I left. I left, Armin, and now I feel like I’m being crushed.”  
       “Eren, what happened last night?”

***

       Days passed, it was like they melted together, and the world didn’t exist. The events that happened in these days were unprecedented.  
       Eren Jaeger went to visit his childhood home. His father was away on business and his sister had come back the day after Eren and Levi’s parting. The young man spent every waking second in his mother’s room, the one filled with her favorite things: photographs and perfume bottles, a closet full of clothing they never got rid of, a shelf of her favorite alcohols, children’s drawings, and Eren. He sat next to an altar covered in black, a picture of her smiling next to a vase full of flowers and incense that Eren had bought on his way over.  
       When he lit the incense, he didn’t know if he was mourning his mother or if he was mourning himself.  
       He had set up a mat on the floor and slept there. He spent time in the room drawing angels and demons and moonlight and everything, he couldn’t tell if the person he was drawing was his mother or if it was Levi, or maybe it was him, he would draw and draw but when it came to the face, he would draw and redraw and erase until the paper got worn out and tore. The feeling of gloom it brought was new, like fresh dirt overturned. Living was terrible.  
       He wasn’t eating, but he quickly drank every bit of alcohol in the kitchen. The first time he left the house, it was to buy bottles of vodka. He bought 10 and drank only one straight from the bottle. It quickly put him to sleep, which is when the dreams came back.  
       Now he could see everything, he could remember the dreams when he woke up, but they were changing. In his sleep crafted by newborn alcoholism the images weren’t beautiful any longer.

       _He awakes from sleep, the room is caressed in red moonlight, there is someone screaming for help, he looks on the bed and it’s covered in blood, Levi is holding onto the bed post and yelling, the sound is background noise. Levi yanks him from the bed and he sees his mother, lying there, lifeless on the other side of the bed, the sheets stained red in Jaeger blood._

       He doesn’t sleep much.  
       Three days into Eren's stay, Mikasa, Eren's sister, heard a thud upstairs in their mother's room. Eren had been drinking enough to worry her, and the pure amount of alcohol that Eren had purchased horrified her. Her feet moved before she could even think, she called to him but he remained unresponsive. Mikasa found him lying face down in his own vomit on the floor. Rolling him over, hoping for a response, but he stayed unmoving, lifeless, not even her screams could bring him back. She called an ambulance and almost passed out herself.   
       "He's dead. He killed himself. He's dead, he's dead, he's dead" She hugged herself as she fell to her knees, sirens in the distance. Unable to cry, she couldn't feel to cry, she just stared at him.  
       Mikasa and everyone who cared about Eren even a little felt  _lucky_ that it was comatose induced by alcohol poisoning. At least he wasn't  _dead._  
       Eren woke up in the hospital, feeling sick and he had an IV in his arm. The hospital staff was reluctant to release him. He’d drunk himself almost to death in three days.  
       When he got to go home, he stopped drinking.

***

       Levi stood in his door for far too long, not able to comprehend what had happened, not able to process everything beginning in his heart. He felt like he was going to burst, but it didn’t last long. Soon he found himself on his knees, crying to a god he didn’t believe in, begging whoever it was to let his heart calm its racing.  
       He wanted to call out to Eren, but Eren was already long gone and he could do nothing but go further into his house. He sat with his Cloud, stroking the old cat for what seemed like an eternity. After what could have only been a few hours, his phone began blowing up with texts from Erwin, Armin, and Hanji. He didn’t reach for his phone until calls began coming through and they wouldn’t stop.  
       “I thought you would have gotten the memo that I didn’t want to talk after ignoring you.”  
       “What happened, Levi?”  
       “That’s none of your damned business. Why don’t you ask the kid and get out of my fucking face?”  
       He hung up and immediately pulled his legs up onto the couch with him. His cats had fallen asleep and he thought he may as well sleep with them. After a few minutes, his phone stopped ringing and he was lightly crying into a pillow on his couch, about to fall asleep when he heard a key in the lock to his house.  
       “Levi…” Erwin’s voice entered the room and Levi didn’t move, he just let himself fall asleep. God was he tired after a day full of nothing.

***

       Neither of the men had missed a day of work in a very long time. Levi had the self-respect to go home when shit hit the fan, but just barely. He would work while sick until the office filed noise complaints and he was losing consciousness at his desk. If it was just a bad day in the life of someone suffering from severe PTSD, he wouldn’t leave until Erwin had to be called over to talk him down and get him to go home.  
       Levi had never, not once, taken more than one day off before, let alone three. That was the beginning amount, anyway.  
       The man stayed home the first day, unwilling to wake up. No one bothered him, though, they just let it happen. He deserved the break, but he did get a call every few hours from Erwin to make sure the other man hadn’t died.  
       Unlike Eren, Levi told his friend everything. He told Erwin about the nice night they had, about the feelings he had, about the good alcohol, about the paintings, about the feeling of sleeping with someone for the first time in so many years. Eren didn’t know, but Levi felt safe like that and slept better than he had in a very long time.  
       Levi had hardly moved out of bed for days, Erwin coming over to give him food and make sure he took care of what he needed to take care of. The first time he heard news about Eren, it had been an entire work week and it was about Eren being in the hospital.  
     Something could have broken inside of Levi’s body the way he jumped out of bed. Erwin had to stop Levi with his cinder block-like arms.  
       “I should have snapped out of it sooner. Erwin, he could have died…it’d be another death that would be all of my fault.” Levi knew it wasn’t true, somewhere inside of himself he knew that blaming this on himself would be unfair. The kid had gone through a lot, so those all played into this, but Levi was the one who completely put him over the edge. If only he had done _something.  
_         “You did nothing wrong, Levi. It’s alright to be heartbroken when you finally come out of your shell and it surprises you to find how uncomfortable it is. It’s not a sin to find you wanted him to _stay.”_  
       “I want to love him, Erwin. I want to love again, and I want to love _him.”_ Levi let himself be dragged into bed by Erwin. He opened his mouth to say more, but in the moment when he wanted to speak, a phone went off.  
       Erwin exited the room.

***  
       Armin’s best friend almost died, and as soon as Armin himself heard that Eren had been found in such a state, he lost full consciousness, not comprehending anything that he was doing until his knees hit the ground in the hospital room. He didn’t leave his friend even overnight, the visiting hours didn’t apply to him and he refused to move, bursting into tears if anyone even mentioned needing to leave.  
       The entire office staff was absolutely terrified, no one had thought that _Eren Jaeger_ would be the one lying in a hospital bed, not waking up for two days. The young blonde could hardly leave the hospital room himself, wishing he could just understand what about Levi had left Eren like this. He knew it wouldn’t be justified to blame Levi, it wasn’t Levi’s fault, but he couldn’t help it.  
       But Armin knew he also wouldn’t be surprised if Erwin told him he had to wrestle a gun out of Levi’s hand _again_.  
       When Eren went home, Armin felt like his heart unraveled from strings he didn’t even realize were suffocating it. He looked up at the home of Grisha Jaeger and shaking, he entered. The things that had happened inside these walls will never be able to be erased from his mind, and he honestly didn’t think he’d be able to look at the skeleton that has taken his friend away.  
       Before he saw Eren, he saw Mikasa, who stared at him with scared eyes.  
        “Where’s Eren?” He asked, just a formality, he knew that Eren was up in his mother’s room. At least he thought so.  
       “What do you mean? He should be with you! He got home from the hospital this morning and demanded that I let him go out with you! He told me that he was going to drive back to house and you were going to pick him up from Saint Maria Square!” Mikasa’s face quickly covered with tears as she ripped the landline off the wall to call the police. Armin dug into his pocket and called Eren.  
       Nothing. He called three times and got nothing.  
       Armin began crying and ran out of the house, calling Erwin. He got into his truck and slammed the door

***

       After a few rings, Erwin picked up.  
       “Hello? Armin?”  
       “Erwin, he’s missing…Eren is missing.”  
       “I’m with Levi right now, I’ll call Hanji and I’ll go out looking for him. Stay calm.”  
       “Erwin...Erwin, I'm scared, I think...I think he's going to kill himself.”  
       "Armin, you shouldn't think like that. You should he wouldn't."  
       "But...What if he does?"  
       Armin ended the call.

***

       Erwin rushed back into Levi’s house and when he got to  Levi’s room, the bed was empty and he heard the front door slam. By time Erwin got to the door, the only image his eyes met was Levi’s car peeling out of the driveway.  
       Another phone call, he saw the caller was Levi and picked it up instantly.  
       “Where are you going?”  
       “Eren texted me a big paragraph. He broke the silence by saying he was sorry. I have to get to him.”  
       “Eren is missing, Levi.”  
       Silence lasted a few seconds, each stretching into their own eternity. After only a few of those eternities passed, Levi spoke.  
       “I have to find him, Erwin.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment and validate me!!!!


	9. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi finds Eren and somehow...healing begins wordlessly.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This has been sitting unfinished in my documents for like 2 months. so I finished it. Just pretend this didn't happen.  
> Thanks for reading!

“Eren is missing, Levi. “ Was all Erwin could bring himself to say, he couldn’t lie to his friend or even try to soften it, he just had to deliver it to him cold.

Levi was shocked to the core and pulled his car over to the side of the road, not wanting to get into an accident. Every thought that could go through someone’s mind in this situation was racing through Levi’s mind three million miles an hour.

_“Why did I let him go? Why didn’t I respond? Is he alright? Why didn’t I call? Is he alive? How could I have just stood there? Is he walking through the snow all alone? Is he alone? How could I leave him all alone? Why didn’t I call? Why didn’t I call? Why didn’t I call? He was in the hospital and I didn’t even go see him, why did I leave him alone? Why is he leaving me all over again?_

_Again? Why again? This is the first time I have lost him! This is the last! Why aren’t I looking for him? Where is he? Is he alright? Is he alive? Whatever God is out there,_ His thoughts turned into a prayer to a God he had visited only a few times in his life. _Please keep Eren safe until I find him._

“I have to find him.” A quick tear ran down his face like a shooting star, and the sadness lasted only seconds before an angry determination filled his entire being. He ended the call before another word could be spoken and pulled his car back onto the road. Before a thought of where to go, he called Eren. It rang for a while and then hit his voicemail. He called a second time and after two rings, there was a shaking voice.

“Hello? Levi?” He sounded like his soul had been torn out of his body.

“Eren, where are you?” Urgency consumed Levi’s voice, and was slowly making its way to consuming Levi himself. Hearing Eren’s voice gave him a new hope and hope amplified his determination.

“It’s funny, Levi,” He began to evade the question with his own little story. “My phone has been ringing for an hour now, and the only person I’ve picked up for is you.” Levi could hear the smile in his voice, the smile of a man about to break like glass.

“Tell me where you are, Eren. I’ll come and get you.” Levi  made a sharp turn on the street , going towards Eren’s side of town.

“My car died almost immediately after I left Saint Maria, as if some kind of God was telling me to stop, but all I did was leave my car behind.” A crack in his voice gave Levi a good idea of how close Eren was to breaking.

                “Are you in Saint Rose? Tell me what you see.” Levi spoke to him softly.

                “I don’t see anything, winter nights are much darker than those of the other seasons, there are lights ahead of me but I can’t make them out.” Eren began laughing, which swiftly turned into crying. “Levi, I have no idea where I am and I am so, so cold. I want to go home.”

                Levi pushed down on his gas pedal, trying to get to Eren as fast as possible, he was pushing it passed what may have been legal, but without sirens screaming for him, he had no reason to stop. Soon he would be out of Saint Maria. Soon.

“What are you wearing? Do you have a jacket?” Levi eyed the external termperature, which was at 20 degrees Fahrenheit.

                “No, I’m wearing some jeans and a sweater. I didn’t think I’d have to get out of my car.”

                “Eren, are you still walking?” Levi made it out of Saint Maria and was on the highway to Saint Rose now. He stared at the road for Eren’s red Honda Civic.

                “My legs are tired. Levi…” Eren paused to take an audible breath. “Can read the signs ahead now. I made it to Saint Rose.”

                “Get into a gas station or a McDonalds or something. I’ll come and get you as fast as I can.” Levi released a sigh of relief. “I’m coming Eren.”

***

It took 20 minutes for Levi to reach Saint Rose. As soon as he saw the gas station at the city limits, he turned his heater on full blast and ran in to get Eren.

                As soon as Eren saw him, he ran to Levi and wrapped his arms around him. In the middle of a dimly lit gas station, they had their long awaited reunion.

                “Eren, Eren, I’m here, you’re safe.” He ran his hands over his back and pulled himself away. “Let’s get going, you’re freezing.”

                Eren took Levi’s warm hand and held on tightly. Levi got the taller man to his car and then got in himself. Eren rested the chair all the way down and laid there, staring at Levi.

                “I thought I’d never see you again.” Eren admitted softly, sadly. “’m glad you came for m

                “After all that has happened, I don’t doubt I’m the only one who could. I’m glad you’re alright.” Levi started the car without even looking at Eren.

                Eren looked at him sadly, slowly losing the consciousness that he had to hold onto with a death grip while walking. Levi’s eyes scanned Eren quickly, the sleeping boy next to him was visibly worn out, he felt like he was staring at a kitten he just picked up off the side of the road after a snow storm. It wasn’t unlike he has, with the way Eren sleeps, he looks exactly like a cat.

                Levi turned on the radio and Little Lion Man by Mumford and Sons came on.

_And it was not your fault but mine, and it was your heart on the line, I really fucked it up this time, didn’t I, my dear?_

***

Levi didn’t know what he was doing, he didn’t understand how he felt or why he wanted to be so close to Eren, but he knew that this boy was going to be different; he knew this boy was going to make him _feel_ different, and he knew that this would bring an entirely different kind of fear. Truth be told, he was terrified, but then again, there’s no going back.

No, this time, there was no changing the course, there was no decisions left this time, this time Levi couldn’t let him go. There he slept, in Levi’s bed, in Levi’s room, and Levi sat in a large chair with a small bedside lamp on, watching to make sure he kept breathing. With the fever that was leaving his face rosy and in a sleeping expression of pure discomfort, Levi watched silently.

Levi’s cell phone and house phone rang every few minutes, plus a little lullaby coming from Eren’s phone. Erwin, Hanji, and a young man from Erwin’s company named Jean swung by to see him but Levi refused to let anyone. His excuses were small, saying he’s not awake, you shouldn’t come in or else you’ll stress him out and make it worse, or I don’t want someone I’m not familiar with coming in while he’s asleep.

Eren never really stirred. Levi had made him food but he never woke to eat it. Before long, Levi decided it would be safe to go to sleep so he trudged down to the living room to grab some extra pillows and returned to his room to sleep in his chair.

***

                The next day Eren left and within a few days he was back at work, setting himself back into routine. The date for their trip to Paris was climbing up on them fast and then had decided it would be best not to see each other until the trip.

                Levi’s dreams filled with a million different stories, vivid pictures of an array of different time periods, too vivid to be dreams, more like memories stored away in his soul. If he believed in that sort of thing, maybe he would have called them pieces from his past lives, but the only line he could draw was that there was always a familiar face. Eren Jaeger was ever present in his dreams and he knew that that was the only reason for the dreams, they weren’t memories, just dumb hopes written into stories to quench his thirst for the younger man’s love.

                And Eren’s dreams were still unable to be recalled in the morning just like the first. Maybe if he were to see Levi again, he would remember, but then again, he didn’t want to visit the sorrow lurking in his chest before he had to. The weights on the heartstrings were just like before and he had no wish to cry in front of the other man again.

***

                They both worked tirelessly, and one night, they were the only two left in their offices and after a sleepless night and the fated meeting with a broken coffeemaker, Eren shot Levi a text.

                _Coffee?_

                Levi was wrapping up his work and was longing for the embrace of his bed when the vibration in his pocket called forth a groan. When he saw the name appear on the screen, his mood lightened, but would soon become confused in a mental battle between going to sleep tonight or going to see the person his heart had subconsciously (quite consciously) been longing for.

                _It’s 2:38 in the morning._

Levi laughed a bit as he read his own text, reveling in the fact that he may have embarrassed the younger man with his simple fact: it’s too late in the night and too early in the morning for coffee.

                _McDonalds is open all night. I’ll get coffee, you get a parfait and we call it a night._

Levi looked at the text with a mix of amusement and concern, but then sighed and began typing on his phone screen.

                _Fine. Which McD.?_

_Please come and pick me up from work first lol._

Levi sighed and grabbed his workbag before heading out to get Eren.

***

                Levi had only visited Linked Horizons a few times, and none of those times was at this unholy hour of the night. Or morning. Whatever.

                He almost fell asleep at the wheel. Eren was taking his time to come out and he just fussed to himself about how even the custodial staff has even gone home, but Eren Fucking Jaeger was still inside, working his ass off.

                Nearly 10 minutes after Levi parked in front of the doors, Eren came out of the building and turned to lock the door behind him with his _own fucking key._ Levi had to stop himself from laughing at the miserable fact that Eren was such a workaholic that he had his own key. The amusement didn’t last a few seconds before Levi remembered he had a key to his own building and locked up before he left. Eren got into the car and both of them sighed in unison.

                “I’m tired as _shit_ and you’re dragging me along to get your shitty coffee.” Levi mused.

                “My coffeemaker broke and I don’t think buying a new one and hooking it up and _making the damn coffee_ is as easy as going to Mickey D’s and getting some cheap coffee.” Eren said in a voice that made it obvious he was smiling like a cocky _bitch._

                Levi muttered something Eren couldn’t quite hear and peeled out of the empty parking lot.

***

                They made it to the nearest McDonalds and Levi wanted to pass the hell out. He was used to being tired and running low, but at this point he was running on an empty tank. He didn’t go up to the counter, but instead left Eren to do that and sat at one of the tables. The short man put his head down for only a second (it was more like 2 minutes) and was being shaken awake by Eren.

                “Holy shit, Levi, are you doing ok?” The brunette laughed.

                “I’m doing better than you, shitty brat.” He said in a low voice, snagging one of the coffees out of Eren’s cardboard drink holder. Eren had bought him a parfait, but on second thought, it was just better to steal one of Eren’s coffees.

                “Do you want me to drive you home?” Eren suggested, his voice dropping into something more serious.

                “I mean, that would be nice, but then you won’t have anyone to drive you home.” Levi yawned.

                “Yeah, I was supposing I could stay there tonight and Armin could just pick me up tomorrow.”

                “We have work tomorrow. And what happened to not seeing each other before our trip? We shouldn’t push it more than this.” Levi picked his head up and met Eren’s eyes. Wow, were they beautiful…

                “We already broke the rules, so who cares? I think we’ll be alright as long as I don’t…sleep with you again.” He sipped on his coffee and the two of them decided to keep the silence. Levi looked at Eren without shame, trying to take in as much of his face as he could, and Eren did much of the same.

                Their staring turned into a wordless conversation and they both got the idea of _“Don’t leave me”._

***

                Eren ended up driving back to Levi’s house and Levi was dead asleep in the passenger seat. They made it back and Eren helped Levi, who even when walking could hardly keep consciousness, inside of his house. They didn’t even make it to the bedroom, they ended up falling onto Levi’s couch and getting tangled there together. Despite the coffee they both drank, they had no actual will to keep themselves awake and before any time passed at all, they fell asleep like that.

***

                Eren woke in the middle of the night to find Levi on his chest, asleep. The larger man could help but stare at him in the little light he had, committing Levi’s sleeping face to memory. He was beautiful, his hair was glossy, his face looked smooth and soft, his sleeping expression gentle. Eren was convinced he was staring at an angel. He could have stayed there, exactly like that for eternity. Maybe longer. The tranquility and content he felt when looking down at the raven haired man was indescribable and Eren was sure that if this moment was frozen, or if in that second he died, he would be at peace forever.

                If he could have bottled a moment to drink from later, he would bottle it over and over and over again.

                And just like that, Eren feel asleep in peace and silently hoped that morning would never come.

**Author's Note:**

> Comments and kudos encourage me to write more, so if you don't want to see this fic die, then i ask you yell at me!


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